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Last week, I faced a parenting moment that I knew would come eventually: <\/span>my kids discovered a video game online that was, in my view, gratuitously and offensively violent\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand I banished it from the screen. <\/span>The game pits two characters (one controlled by the computer, one controlled by the player) who engage in face-to-face combat. <\/span>It allows players to select weapons, beginning with a pre-modern arsenal of slingshots, bows and arrows, and Viking-style hatchets. <\/span>But my boys soon worked their way up to machine guns, and their curiosity took over. <\/span>The game got ugly, and they knew I wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t approve. <\/span>They showed me the game, and asked me if it was \u00e2\u20ac\u0153OK\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to play it. <\/span>I said no, and we sat down for another round of mom\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s edifying (or is that moralizing?) conversations (lectures?) on the subject of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153why toy guns and violent video games are bad for kids.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n At the ages of 8 and 11, they still willingly participate in these discussions, though I know my days may be numbered. <\/span>Since my boys were toddlers, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve done my best to keep plastic pistols out of their hands. <\/span>I say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153done my best\u00e2\u20ac\u009d because in reality, we parents can’t control all the variables.\u00c2\u00a0 They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve picked up water guns at the local pool, and they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve received toy muskets as party favors\u00e2\u20ac\u201doccasions that inspired my own half-hidden, disapproving eye-rolling.\u00c2\u00a0 They like to try their marksmanship with a Nerf-ball shooter, and I now realize that compared to the graphic, gory violence lurking in cyberspace, such playthings seem almost as tame as Legos. <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n \n But when it comes to micro-chip warfare, my boys know where I stand. <\/span>And while they\u00e2\u20ac\u201dlike millions of other boys for whom these games are intended\u00e2\u20ac\u201dare intrigued by cyber violence, they seem to get my point. <\/span>My older son even wrote an essay last year titled \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why Kids Shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Play Violent Video Games\u00e2\u20ac\u009d: <\/span>a homework assignment that I was all too willing to help him with. <\/span>Maybe I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a walking clich\u00c3\u00a9:\u00c2\u00a0 a forty-year-old suburban mother who detests violent video games with every fiber of my being. <\/span>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve read books and articles on both sides of the issue: <\/span>the experts who say that online violence \u00e2\u20ac\u0153desensitizes\u00e2\u20ac\u009d kids to real aggression; and the researchers who claim that it lets boys \u00e2\u20ac\u0153blow off steam\u00e2\u20ac\u009d while improving their manual dexterity. <\/span>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m more convinced by the former argument, but my reaction to violent games is more visceral and instinctive than rational or scientific. <\/span>In a word, the sight of my children controlling a virtual machine gun\u00e2\u20ac\u201dseeing a barrage of on-screen bullets emanating from their hands\u00e2\u20ac\u201dmakes me feel sick. <\/span><\/p>\n \n Honestly, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get the appeal. <\/span>But I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not an eight-and-a-half-year-old boy. <\/span>So over tacos last night, I asked my younger son and his friend why kids like these games. <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It makes you feel awesome and super-strong,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d his friend replied. <\/span>Eli explained that games with brawls and fights are \u00e2\u20ac\u0153more challenging and more addicting\u00e2\u20ac\u009d because \u00e2\u20ac\u0153you keep advancing to higher levels and getting better and better and beating them.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>When I pointed out that Wii Sports or race car video games also provide those thrills, they agreed. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We like those games, too,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d they said. <\/span><\/p>\n \n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Those games are OK,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I replied, mouthing the psycho-babble in the articles I’ve read, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153because they let you gain skills and feel strong without destroying or killing another person. <\/span>Even if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re just pretending, feeling good because you can dominate or murder someone else isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a healthy or positive way to feel good about yourself.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n \n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153So why do they make these games if they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re so bad?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d my son asked. <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t that the 64,000 dollar question!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I replied. <\/span>As I took the last bite out of my taco, I asked \u00e2\u20ac\u0153do you guys want to stay here and talk about how video-game companies use violence to sell products and make money\u00e2\u20ac\u201dor do you want to go upstairs and practice your magic tricks?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>Fortunately, they chose the latter option, but I know the topic will re-surface around the dinner table again soon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \/* Style Definitions *\/ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:””; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} Last week, I faced a parenting moment that I knew would come eventually: my kids discovered a video game online that was, in my view, gratuitously and offensively violent\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1925,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21095],"tags":[2397,1976,129,4374,133,100],"class_list":["post-1847","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-beyond-pink-and-blue","tag-boys","tag-masculinity","tag-media","tag-parenting","tag-violence","tag-youth"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1847","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1925"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1847"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1847\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1847"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1847"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1847"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}