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Welcome to my first column exploring gender stereotypes and realities in children\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s lives. <\/span>Whether or not you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re a parent yourself, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s impossible to miss the countless ways in which our culture divides kids along gender lines. Just walk into any toy store and notice how the playthings are segregated–with action figures, race cars, and dinosaurs for the boys, and Barbies, Bratz dolls, and craft kits for the girls.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n For decades, debates have raged over the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153nature vs. nurture\u00e2\u20ac\u009d question: <\/span>Are we neurologically \u00e2\u20ac\u0153hard wired\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to behave in stereotypically masculine or feminine ways\u00e2\u20ac\u201dor is gendered behavior acquired through culture and socialization? <\/span>The pendulum has swung back and forth over the past fifty years, with scientists, educators, and parents vacillating between two poles of thought. <\/span>During the 1970s, second-wave feminists came down on the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153nurture\u00e2\u20ac\u009d side of the fence, and worked hard to raise a generation of kids free from the restrictive gender roles that permeated the postwar, Leave-it-to-Beaver era. <\/span>(Think Free to Be, You and Me<\/em>, Title IX, and the ubiquitous parenting refrain: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153you can be ANYTHING you want to be…\u00e2\u20ac\u009d) <\/span>Recently, however, some experts have been touting the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153nature\u00e2\u20ac\u009d side of the equation, arguing that boys and girls are \u00e2\u20ac\u0153biologically programmed\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to behave and learn differently.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n Today, in my opinion, the most sophisticated and sensible answer to the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153nature vs. nurture\u00e2\u20ac\u009d question is: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153both.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/span>In her new book Pink Brain, Blue Brain: <\/span>How Small Differences Grow into Troublesome Gaps\u00e2\u20ac\u201dAnd What We can Do About It<\/span>,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d neuroscientist and mother-of-three Lise Eliot explains that there are some real inborn differences between the sexes, but statistically, they are very small<\/em>. <\/span>It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s our culture<\/em>\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwhat we do and say at home and at school, on t.v. and in the toy store\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthat amplifies those small innate differences, turning them into self-fulfilling prophesies that limit the aspirations, experiences, and skills of boys and girls alike.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not simply a matter of banning Barbies or forcing boys to do needlepoint. <\/span>The issues swirling around kids and gender identity are complicated, so simplistic, one-size-fits-all \u00e2\u20ac\u0153solutions\u00e2\u20ac\u009d won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do the trick. <\/span>But in the best feminist tradition, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s worth asking tough questions about the messages our culture sends out to parents and kids on a daily basis. <\/span>Why, for example, does the Toy Industry Association persist in having categories like \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Best Boy Toy\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Best Girl Toy\u00e2\u20ac\u009d of the year? <\/span>(More on that next month!) <\/span>Retail stores gain when they sell pink drapes for girls\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 bedrooms and blue shades for boys\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u201dbut what do kids lose when they grow up in such a gender-bifurcated world? <\/span><\/p>\n