{"id":1634,"date":"2009-05-28T09:34:28","date_gmt":"2009-05-28T14:34:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/girlwpen.com\/?p=1634"},"modified":"2009-05-28T09:34:28","modified_gmt":"2009-05-28T14:34:28","slug":"girl-talk-i-kissed-a-girl-or-lessons-in-feminist-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/2009\/05\/28\/girl-talk-i-kissed-a-girl-or-lessons-in-feminist-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"GIRL TALK: I Kissed a Girl, or Lessons in Feminist Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Much as I want to think of myself as a feminist parent, sometimes I doubt my credentials.\u00c2\u00a0 After all, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t forbid Hannah Montana <\/a>for my daughter or swordplay for my son even though both of these activities certainly do reinforce gender stereotypes (although I should probably add that my daughter took jui-jitsu for a time and my son happily watches Hannah Montana).<\/p>\n

But I know that when it comes to discussions of loving relationships, this is one area where my feminism comes through loud and clear.\u00c2\u00a0 With the current setbacks\u00e2\u20ac\u201dlike yesterday\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s California High Court ruling in support of the gay marriage ban<\/a> and victories over gay marriage, I see this as an important social justice issue.\u00c2\u00a0 After all, I want my daughter and my son to grow up in a culture that will recognize and equally value their loving relationships whoever their partner may be.<\/p>\n

Katy Perry as \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Compulsory Heterosexuality 101\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/strong>
\nMy 8-year-old daughter loves Katy Perry\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I Kissed a Girl.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/a> She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s especially familiar with the chorus, which goes like this:
\n
\nI kissed a girl and I liked it
\nThe taste of her cherry chapstick
\nI kissed a girl just to try it
\nI hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
\nIt felt so wrong
\nIt felt so right<\/em><\/p>\n

Recently after the song played my daughter asked, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why is she worried about what her boyfriend will think?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 I explained that the song was about two girls kissing.\u00c2\u00a0 Perhaps not surprisingly, she had been listening to the song and singing the words without really understanding it.\u00c2\u00a0 When I explained the idea of two girls kissing, some predictable \u00e2\u20ac\u0153ew\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153yuck\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00e2\u20ac\u009d ensued (the standard grade school reaction to all romantic kissing).\u00c2\u00a0 I also explained that some people think two girls or two boys kissing is a bad thing.<\/p>\n

I went on to tell her what I thought\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthat two people who love each other can kiss, whether they are two girls, two boys, or a boy and a girl.\u00c2\u00a0 I talked about the way that \u00e2\u20ac\u0153gay\u00e2\u20ac\u009d can be used as an epithet, and how in my view such a usage was inappropriate.<\/p>\n

My daughter wanted to try the idea on for size.\u00c2\u00a0 What would be the difference between using gay in a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153mean\u00e2\u20ac\u009d way and in a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153nice\u00e2\u20ac\u009d way, she wanted to know?\u00c2\u00a0 She thought out loud, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I could say, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcYou\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re gay, hooray!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I loved this response.\u00c2\u00a0 Tolerance is one thing: plenty of research suggests that young people are more supportive of gay marriage<\/a> than their older counterparts.\u00c2\u00a0 But celebration is another, and my daughter is right there already.\u00c2\u00a0 Dismantling heterosexism and homophobia are important parts of this mix as well: my daughter may not be there yet, but that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s where my feminist parenting comes in, and we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll take it day by day.<\/p>\n

While I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think Katy Perry\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I Kissed a Girl\u00e2\u20ac\u009d lyrics are especially feminist\u00e2\u20ac\u201dheterosexual male enjoyment of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153lesbian\u00e2\u20ac\u009d sexuality has been around for a long time, it opened a great window of conversation and analysis for our family.\u00c2\u00a0 Now that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s feminist, so thanks, Katy Perry.<\/p>\n

GWP, readers how does feminism influence your parenting?\u00c2\u00a0 I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d love to hear your stories.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Much as I want to think of myself as a feminist parent, sometimes I doubt my credentials.\u00c2\u00a0 After all, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t forbid Hannah Montana for my daughter or swordplay for my son even though both of these activities certainly do reinforce gender stereotypes (although I should probably add that my daughter took jui-jitsu for a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1905,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21103],"tags":[21395,21789,176,100],"class_list":["post-1634","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-girl-talk","tag-girls","tag-sexual-freedom","tag-sexuality","tag-youth"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1634","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1905"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1634"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1634\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}