{"id":16747,"date":"2013-08-29T18:21:46","date_gmt":"2013-08-29T22:21:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/?p=16747"},"modified":"2013-08-30T19:58:31","modified_gmt":"2013-08-30T23:58:31","slug":"the-introvert-fetish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/2013\/08\/29\/the-introvert-fetish\/","title":{"rendered":"The Introvert Fetish"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"I<\/a>
I LOVE this. [Image credit: Schroeder Jones<\/a>]<\/figcaption><\/figure>Sometime during the spring of my seventh grade year, one of my best friends came to school with a book she\u2019d pulled from her parents\u2019 shelves called Please Understand Me: Character & Temperament Types<\/a><\/i>. It had a long questionnaire in it that, after you answered all the A\/B multiple-choice questions, sorted you across four different binaries (and thereby into one of 16 possible personality types). I forget whether it was after school or during a class (ooops), but she and I and another good friend eagerly took turns jotting down answers in our notebooks[i]<\/a> and tabulating our scores.<\/p>\n

We were three awkward, shy, 13-year-old girls; we were not, by any stretch of the imagination, \u201cpopular.\u201d\u00a0Surreptitiously read women\u2019s magazines<\/a> had taught us to seek self-knowledge through multiple-choice questions, while standardized tests had trained us to endure answering many multiple-choice questions in a row. The book\u2019s subject matter promised to help us sort out everything that had perplexed us about interacting with others, and the title alone resonated with particular force. We worked diligently and with enthusiasm, and perhaps unsurprisingly (given the way our culture socializes girls), all three of us tested identically: At the time, we all came out INFP.<\/p>\n

And we rejoiced. Suddenly, we had answers. We weren\u2019t outcasts or \u201cnerds\u201d or any of the other names that I, in particular, got called that year, oh no: we were a rare personality type<\/i>, one that the book said makes up only one percent of the entire human population. We were special\u2014and now that we had a name, we were proud<\/i>. We set about planning The First (and only) Annual INFP Fest, a sleepover event for which we made fliers even though we had no intention of inviting anyone other than ourselves. We got dressed up and got dropped off at the Hard Rock Cafe downtown; I even got a fresh (also, my last ever) permanent wave for the occasion. We had an identity to celebrate, and so could take ourselves seriously now. It was a very big deal.<\/p>\n

This was my first experience with Introvert Pride.<\/p>\n

\"Image<\/a>
Image credit: Peppermint Bee<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My personality has since wandered in and out of a couple different Myers-Briggsville neighborhoods, but to this day I test \u201cintrovert\u201d on any test form that has more questions about how the test taker experiences social interaction rather than how the test taker acts in social situations (which makes perfect sense, if you ask me). The tests might even be right: If there\u2019s one pair of things that drives some people close to me insane, it\u2019s that I\u2019m PITA-level precise with my language and often go \u201cstraight to the big issues,\u201d which apparently makes me a card-carrier<\/a>\u00a0as far as researchers are concerned. I still remember when someone forwarded me Jonathan Rauch\u2019s essay, \u201cCaring for Your Introvert<\/a>\u201d in 2003, as well as the simultaneous thrill of recognition and relief that hit me as I read it (and then re-forwarded it further). I still love Schroeder Jones\u2019s 2012 comic \u201cGuide to Understanding The Introverted<\/a>\u201d and, until I thought too sociologically about it, I was even enjoying introversion\u2019s<\/a> appearance as<\/a> a<\/a> meme<\/a>. (Here<\/a> is<\/a> a<\/a> whole<\/a> bunch<\/a> of<\/a> stuff<\/a>, all<\/a>\u00a0of it<\/a>\u00a0just<\/a> from<\/a> August<\/a> 2013<\/a>, that<\/a> is<\/a> about<\/a> introversion<\/a> or<\/a> introversion<\/a> versus<\/a> extroversion<\/a>.) Granted, the Introversion Meme may not be what you\u2019d call \u201ctrue to the concept<\/a>,\u201d especially when it comes to differentiating[ii]<\/a> between \u201cintroversion\u201d and \u201cshyness,\u201d but overall, I was thinking the meme-ification of introversion was a net positive (no pun intended).<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s why I was into it: Present-day expectations for normative social behavior map much more closely onto extravert preferences than they do onto introvert preferences (at least in the U.S.), but the burdens of these expectations are not equally distributed. If a man of sufficient privilege is reserved, serious, does not engage in small talk, and does not mingle readily with others at parties, he stands a good chance of being read as very important, very interesting, or very smart. A man with less privilege who doesn\u2019t smile and engage in pleasantries, however, runs the risk of being read as menacing, hostile, or aggressive (especially if he isn\u2019t white). Similarly, a woman who is more reserved will likely be read as cold, uptight, haughty, standoffish, self-important, or\u2014my favorite\u2014\u201cbitchy,\u201d and women in particular are expected put others at ease by filling would-be silences with small talk (because while silence is considered awkward, \u2018big talk\u2019 from a woman would be threatening). In short, the interactional styles and behaviors captured by the pop definition of \u201cintroversion\u201d have generally been more acceptable for privileged men than for Others. By repackaging these non-normative styles and behaviors in a concept that is at least purportedly gender-, race-, and class-neutral, it seemed to me that the Introversion Meme just might put a dent in making it more acceptable for Others to forgo the social- and emotional labor of performing friendly deference in order to make members of dominant groups feel more comfortable.<\/p>\n

And yet, on closer examination, there are critical issues with the Introversion Meme as a tool for activism and social justice. Extending the range of what\u2019s considered \u201cnormal\u201d is still normative, and using the Introversion Meme to say, \u201cThis is why I am like this,\u201d still casts introverted preferences as things that need to be justified or accounted for. For example: It turns out that I\u2019m not terrible at talking to strangers<\/a>, but I loathe small talk<\/a>. I\u2019m not good at it; it stresses me out when other people do it at me; I find companionate silence and conversations of substance to be far more comfortable and pleasurable. Yet I\u2019m also aware that, as a woman (and a younger one at that), I am especially<\/i> expected to be \u201cpleasant\u201d and talkative, to do the \u201cnurturing\u201d work in social interactions, and to shape my behavior around others\u2019 needs and pleasures. My personal preferences and inclinations are therefore in conflict with social norms for people of my demographic\u2014but how to address that fact? On the one hand, I can insist upon \u201cbeing myself\u201d as a political act Because Screw Normative Expectations, but that strategy is going to cost me social capital (and probably won\u2019t make me a whole lot of friends). Alternatively, I can pull out the Introversion Meme to explain myself, but to do so is to shift the conversation from gender and power to why I, personally, am \u201clike that.\u201d While invoking \u201cintroversion\u201d might be less of a hassle, I\u2019m not certain that doing so is worth the ideological and political price.<\/p>\n

\"Image<\/a>
Image credit: Hyperbole and a Half<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The other thing about the Introversion Meme is that\u2014and this might not make sense at first, so bear with me\u2014beneath its dork-positive surface, the Introversion Meme has roots in digital dualism. Wait, what? Introverts tend to like the Internet<\/a>, and tend to be comfortable with technologically mediated interaction, so you\u2019d think introverts (of all people!) would be less likely to denigrate or discount digital interaction. Yet the rise of the Introversion Meme isn\u2019t actually about introversion or introverts; it\u2019s about turning away from what is meaningless and shallow, and toward what is ‘deep, meaningful, and true.’ Sound familiar?<\/p>\n

Introversion is the new \u201cdisconnection,\u201d and the Introvert fetish is the new IRL fetish.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Recall the relationship between digital<\/a> dualism<\/a> and the IRL Fetish<\/a> (both concepts Nathan Jurgenson\u2019s<\/a> handiwork): digital dualism marks a conceptual division between \u201conline\u201d and \u201coffline\u201d that falsely construes digitally mediated experiences as somehow separate from other experiences, and that often leads us to denigrate or dismiss digitally mediated experiences as less real or less important than other experiences. The IRL Fetish, in turn, is when we elevate things we think of as \u201coffline\u201d to hold them up as aesthetically, qualitatively, and morally superior to things we think of as \u201conline.\u201d This comparatively recent (over)valuing of \u201coffline\u201d objects and experiences doesn\u2019t stem from some change in their intrinsic properties, however. Rather, we ascribe more value to certain \u201coffline\u201d objects and experiences\u2014which we misleadingly label \u201creal,\u201d as if online objects and experiences were not equally real\u2014because they now serve as symbols (fetishes) that represent both the superiority of the precious, authentic \u201coffline\u201d and the inferiority of the hollow, ubiquitous, ever-encroaching \u201conline.\u201d Accordingly, the Disconnection Meme\u2014in which \u201cdisconnecting,\u201d \u201cunplugging,\u201d \u201clogging off,\u201d taking a \u201cscreen vacation\u201d or \u201cdigital detox\u201d (etc.), is framed as a way to retrieve, revive, or rediscover the real, meaningful, pleasurable, authentic, significant, or important things in life\u2014is IRL fetishism par excellence<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\"alone-not-left-alone\"<\/a>Just as the Introversion Meme\u2019s \u201cintroversion\u201d isn\u2019t exactly what psychologists have in mind when they use the word, neither is the Introversion Meme\u2019s \u201cextroversion\u201d what psychologists mean when they say \u201cextraversion<\/a>.\u201d In meme caricature, \u201cextroversion\u201d is marked by superficiality, triviality, insubstantiality, and a preference for frenetic, empty sociality. \u201cExtroverts\u201d are \u201calways on,\u201d and they derive pleasure from a constant bombardment of empty, surface-level interaction; they may not have close or meaningful friendships, but they sure have a lot of friends. In this unflattering portrait, extroverts are denigrated digital interaction personified: Like your smartphone, they\u2019re always on; like Facebook, they have too many friends (and those friendships aren\u2019t even real); like SMS and Twitter, their interactions are too fast and too superficial. Actual introverts may have a particular affinity for the Internet, but the Internet itself becomes an extrovert.<\/p>\n

Introverts, on the other hand, are meme-caricatured as preferring quality over quantity, and as gravitating toward what is more \u201cauthentic\u201d and \u201cmeaningful.\u201d As Katy Waldman summarizes in her sardonic critique<\/a> of \u201c23 Signs You\u2019re Secretly an Introvert<\/a>,\u201d<\/p>\n

you may claim membership in this elite club if \u201cidle chatter\u201d fails to thrill you, if networking \u201cfeels disingenuous\u201d (you \u201ccrave authenticity in [your] interactions\u201d), if you \u201chave a penchant for philosophical conversations and a love of thought-provoking books and movies,\u201d if you\u2019re \u201cgeared toward intense study and developing expertise,\u201d if you \u201chave a keen eye for detail,\u201d and if your habit of \u201cthinking before [you] speak\u201d gives you a \u201cwise\u201d reputation.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

With the Disconnection Meme still <\/a><\/i>making the rounds<\/a>, is our cultural enthusiasm for the Introversion Meme even the least bit surprising? In fact, I\u2019m almost surprised I\u2019ve not seen an iteration of the Introversion Meme that lists a preference for walks on Cape Cod<\/a> as a diagnostic criterion for introversion (or maybe that\u2019s the 24th<\/sup> sign). The \u201cintrovert\u201d has joined the paper book, the vinyl record, the face-to-face conversation, and the wilderness vacation as a fetish object imbued with the mythic power of Authentic Life\u2122.<\/p>\n

This, then, is my sad conclusion: As much as I identify as an introvert, and as much as I like seeing my non-normative way of being in the world represented in a (seemingly) positive light, I don\u2019t think the popularity of the Introversion Meme actually has much to do with me or with my introverted brethren. The Introversion Meme isn\u2019t promoting acceptance of introverts, and it isn\u2019t encouraging positive change in the realm of normative social expectations. Instead, the Introversion Meme is just the newest face on a many-headed hydra of conservative backlash against a changing, augmented society.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Whitney Erin Boesel (@weboesel<\/a>) has embraced Twitter as an introvert-positive interactional medium<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\n
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[i]<\/a> Yes, pencil and paper: I\u2019m probably among the youngest of people who encountered the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator<\/a>\u00a0(or something a lot like it<\/a>)\u00a0before they encountered the Internet<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

[ii]<\/a>Here\u2019s a super basic way to tell the difference between \u201cintroversion\u201d and \u201cshyness\u201d: as The Smiths<\/a> famously sang, \u201cShyness is nice, but shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you\u2019d like to.\u201d Introversion, on the other hand, is simply a particular pattern of liking (and disliking) different things to do in life.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometime during the spring of my seventh grade year, one of my best friends came to school with a book she\u2019d pulled from her parents\u2019 shelves called Please Understand Me: Character & Temperament Types. It had a long questionnaire in it that, after you answered all the A\/B multiple-choice questions, sorted you across four different […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1875,"featured_media":16749,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9967,892],"tags":[22994,22993,22991,22992,22990,55,18544,22989,22995,18571,16155,22996],"class_list":["post-16747","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commentary","category-essay","tag-disconnection-meme","tag-extraversion","tag-extravert","tag-extroversion","tag-extrovert","tag-gender","tag-interaction","tag-introversion","tag-introversion-meme","tag-introvert","tag-irl-fetish","tag-normative-behavior"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/files\/2013\/08\/introverts.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16747","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1875"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16747"}],"version-history":[{"count":24,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16747\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16767,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16747\/revisions\/16767"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16749"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16747"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16747"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/cyborgology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16747"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}