{"id":284,"date":"2015-06-25T07:04:46","date_gmt":"2015-06-25T07:04:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/families\/?p=284"},"modified":"2015-06-25T07:04:46","modified_gmt":"2015-06-25T07:04:46","slug":"biting-the-hand-that-feeds-relative-income-infidelity-and-aggrieved-entitlement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/2015\/06\/25\/biting-the-hand-that-feeds-relative-income-infidelity-and-aggrieved-entitlement\/","title":{"rendered":"Biting the Hand that Feeds? Relative Income, Infidelity and Aggrieved Entitlement"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Image<\/a>
Image by Perry Threlfall<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So the story goes, few behaviors incite more intense feelings of betrayal than infidelity. A partner\u2019s infidelity can invite feelings of anger, disappointment, depression, anxiety, and distrust. It is the most often reported reason for divorce, as well as its strongest predictor<\/a>. The majority of infidelity research has been conducted by psychologists, evolutionary biologists, and marriage and family therapists. Sociologists, however, are uniquely positioned to shed light on the situational and structural forces at play. For example, in a recent study<\/a> published this month in American Sociological Review, <\/em>Christin Munsch<\/a> examined the relationship between relative earnings\u2014that is, one\u2019s income in relation to his or her spouse\u2014and marital infidelity in heterosexual couples.<\/p>\n

It would be logical to assume that economic dependence on one\u2019s spouse would deter cheating. After all, why would anyone bite the hand that feeds? However, the study finds the opposite: economic dependence increases one\u2019s likelihood of engaging in infidelity. For both men and women, as they became more economically dependent on their spouses, their odds of engaging in infidelity increased. Although this may seem counterintuitive, we consider this to be encouraging in that it suggests relative equality between spouses is good for marital stability.<\/p>\n

The study also sheds light on the ways in which the effect of relative earnings on infidelity is gendered. Namely, although economic dependence increased the likelihood of infidelity for both men and women, the increase was much greater for men than for women.<\/em> Munsch attributes this finding to breadwinning norms and the relational, hierarchical nature of gender. Previous research<\/a> finds that men respond to masculinity threats with extreme demonstrations of masculinity, whereas women are less affected\u2014or unaffected\u2014by femininity threats. Traditionally, breadwinning has been a central component of masculine identity. Accordingly, economic dependence threatens masculinity whereas infidelity allows threatened men to compensate by engaging in a behavior culturally associated with masculinity. For men, particularly young men, dominant definitions of masculinity call for sexual virility and conquest. Infidelity allows threatened men to enact masculinity while simultaneously distancing themselves from, and perhaps punishing, their breadwinning wives.<\/p>\n

Given its focus on sex, money, and gender, this research has garnered recent media attention. Yet, many of these accounts tend to sensationalize and overstate men\u2019s disloyalty. For example, in a recent Wall Street Journal<\/em> article<\/a> entitled, \u201cWhen a Man Depends on a Woman, He May Be More Likely to Cheat,\u201d Neil Shah writes, \u201cDespite strides toward sexual equality, American men still can\u2019t handle not being a breadwinner\u2026\u201d While we appreciate Shah\u2019s attention to the gendered nature of this phenomenon, we suspect most men can<\/em> handle \u201cnot being a breadwinner\u201d – and the findings support this interpretation. In the study, men who were 100 percent economically dependent on their wives had a .15 predicted probability of cheating of in any given year\u2014the highest predicted probability of infidelity across all models. In other words, the overwhelming majority of economically dependent men are not expected to cheat<\/em>.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

Most of us know at least a handful of men who would accept, appreciate, and embrace a breadwinning wife. Similarly, most of us can think of men for whom being economically dependent might be a real problem. Here, we wish to clarify this distinction and shed light on the kinds of men who might feel threatened by economic dependence and seek to overcompensate by engaging in infidelity.<\/p>\n

As Michael Kimmel suggests<\/a>, the era of unquestioned male privilege is over<\/em>. In response, some men\u2014primarily white, downwardly mobile men, without significant career or family successes – who were simultaneously raised to expect unparalleled social and economic privilege – have come to believe that they have been unjustly denied what is rightfully theirs. (Of course, this ignores the myriad of ways heterosexual white men have been and continue to be privileged.) Nonetheless, the sense of <\/em>\u201caggrieved entitlement\u201d in these men breeds resentment towards a host of \u201cothers\u201d including the government, immigrants, minorities, and, of course, women<\/em>. We suspect it is these men\u2014those experiencing aggrieved entitlement<\/em>\u2014who are the most likely to feel threatened by women\u2019s economic advancement and compensate by engaging in infidelity.<\/p>\n

Interestingly, and perhaps ironically, persons (primarily men) have left vitriolic comments in response to recent newspaper articles covering this new research, and Munsch herself has received harassing emails. For example, one man wrote to say that women, especially \u201cself-serving, idiot feminists,\u201d shouldn\u2019t conduct research because they have no sense of\u00a0pragmatism. It seems likely that the same aggrieved entitlement that legitimates infidelity for some economically dependent men also underlies these comments.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

The only reason to respond with malice to the publication of scientific research documenting the benefits of marital equality is fear.<\/em> A host of social psychological research confirms that, when threatened, individuals are more likely to cause harm to relevant out-group members (as found here<\/a>, and here<\/a>, and here<\/a>, and here<\/a>). In fact, in one pertinent study<\/a>, researchers found that men undergoing prototypicality, legitimacy, and distinctiveness threats were more likely to harass to a virtual female interaction partner compared to those who had not been threatened. (Prototypicality threats challenge a man\u2019s status as a good or as a prototypical man; legitimacy threats question the validity of men\u2019s social standing and privileges; and, distinctiveness threats suggest men and women are becoming increasingly similar.) In other words, in an ironic twist, the malicious responses incited in these men substantiate the very claims made in the paper.<\/em><\/p>\n

So, what advice can we offer those seeking happy, stable relationships? Despite Deborah Netburn\u2019s well-meaning Los Angeles Times<\/em> advice (\u201cTo minimize risk of infidelity, make sure you earn as much as your spouse<\/a>\u201d), we contend that the answer is not to focus on relative earnings. After all, career trajectories can be unpredictable. Although two people may start off on relatively equal footing, one spouse may climb the corporate ladder faster than the other, one or both spouses may get laid off, or one may choose to leave the labor force altogether. Rather, it lies in our ability to recognize aggrieved entitlement and seek relationships with persons who will feel genuinely happy, rather than threatened, when we succeed. Mutual respect and support serve to safeguard relationships from the effects of dependency on infidelity.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

Matthew Rogers is a Ph.D. student at the University of Connecticut. His research is focused on masculinities, identity, and violence.<\/em><\/p>\n

Christin L. Munsch is an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Connecticut. The overarching goal of her research is to identify the ways in which contemporary, dual earner families organize interaction based on a traditional, breadwinner-homemaker model and the consequences of this mismatch for individuals, relationships, and the reproduction of inequality. She is currently completing a manuscript that examines the ways in which penalties for flexible work vary by family structure.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So the story goes, few behaviors incite more intense feelings of betrayal than infidelity. A partner\u2019s infidelity can invite feelings of anger, disappointment, depression, anxiety, and distrust. It is the most often reported reason for divorce, as well as its strongest predictor. The majority of infidelity research has been conducted by psychologists, evolutionary biologists, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1903,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30834],"tags":[8959,55,320,30857],"class_list":["post-284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-research-reports","tag-families","tag-gender","tag-marriage","tag-nonmonogamy"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1903"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=284"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}