{"id":2428,"date":"2021-01-19T07:14:03","date_gmt":"2021-01-19T13:14:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/?p=2428"},"modified":"2021-01-19T09:51:11","modified_gmt":"2021-01-19T15:51:11","slug":"national-spouses-day-is-next-week-feeling-any-pressure-a-fact-sheet-on-prospects-for-marriage-in-contemporary-america","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/2021\/01\/19\/national-spouses-day-is-next-week-feeling-any-pressure-a-fact-sheet-on-prospects-for-marriage-in-contemporary-america\/","title":{"rendered":"National Spouses Day is Next Week\u2026. Feeling Any Pressure? A Fact Sheet on Prospects for Marriage in Contemporary America"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_2067\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2067\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/files\/2019\/08\/people-2595862_1280.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-2067\" src=\"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/files\/2019\/08\/people-2595862_1280-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/files\/2019\/08\/people-2595862_1280-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/files\/2019\/08\/people-2595862_1280-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/files\/2019\/08\/people-2595862_1280-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/files\/2019\/08\/people-2595862_1280.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-2067\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Image by <a href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/users\/StockSnap-894430\/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=2595862\">StockSnap<\/a> from <a href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=2595862\">Pixabay<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>January 26 will be National Spouses Day, and Valentine\u2019s Day is just around the corner.\u00a0 If you\u2019re looking for a spouse \u2014 or hoping to become a better one \u2014 here are a few things you might want to know, including why you shouldn\u2019t panic if no one is on the horizon.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Get a College Education<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>As late as 1970 more than 80% of US women age 40-45 were married, with few differences by education but a slight advantage for women with a high school degree. In the last two decades, however, a different and much larger educational marriage gap has emerged. As of 2014, 75% of women aged 40-45 with a Bachelor\u2019s degree or more were currently married, compared to only 65% of those with some college, 59% of women with a high school diploma, and just 56% of women who had not completed high school.<\/li>\n<li>In the 20th century, women with PhDs or professional degrees were the least likely women to marry. Today, women with such advanced degrees are the MOST likely to marry.\u00a0<a>More than 80% of women age 40-45 with professional degrees or PhDs were married in 2014. \u00a0<\/a><\/li>\n<li>A college education is especially protective against divorce. The Pew Research Center reports that as of 2015,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2015\/12\/04\/education-and-marriage\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2015\/12\/04\/education-and-marriage\/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091882000&amp;usg=AFQjCNEyOfOeMy3aMm7SrUo7pRLjt3RblA\">college-educated women had an 80% chance of their marriage lasting more than 20 years.<\/a>\u00a0For women with a high school education or less, the chance of a marriage lasting that long is only 40%.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Take Your Time<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>In 2018 the average age of marriage reached an all-time high of\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2019\/02\/13\/8-facts-about-love-and-marriage\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2019\/02\/13\/8-facts-about-love-and-marriage\/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091882000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHPmveZ_TqAJV3gUOFo2IEJP4pgPA\">30 years for men and 28 for women.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>But these averages reflect far greater variation in the chance of marriage AFTER age 30 than in the past.\u00a0Sociologist Philip Cohen estimates that\u00a0<a>85 percent of White women and 78 percent of Black women will marry in the course of their lives<\/a>.\u00a0Although Black women marry later than White women until their early thirties, they marry at higher rates after that age. In fact, Cohen calculates that a White woman who reaches age 45 without marrying has a 26 percent chance of marrying at some later point, while a Black woman still single at 45 has a 49 percent chance of marrying.<\/li>\n<li>And almost\u00a0<a>every year a woman postpones marriage<\/a>, up to about age 49, lowers her chance of divorce.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Get by with a little help from\u2026the internet?<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The most common way heterosexual adults\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/web.stanford.edu\/~mrosenfe\/Rosenfeld_et_al_Disintermediating_Friends.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/web.stanford.edu\/~mrosenfe\/Rosenfeld_et_al_Disintermediating_Friends.pdf&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091882000&amp;usg=AFQjCNGmcfB7qYN6bPCl9KtPELNICzNVXA\">met their future marital partners<\/a>\u00a0in the latter half of the 20thcentury was through friends. However, after peaking at 35% in 1990, the percent of heterosexual adults who met their partner through friends had fallen to\u00a020% by 2017. Meanwhile, the number of adults who met their partners online had soared to nearly 40%, up from just\u00a01% in 1995.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/web.stanford.edu\/~mrosenfe\/Rosenfeld_et_al_Disintermediating_Friends.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/web.stanford.edu\/~mrosenfe\/Rosenfeld_et_al_Disintermediating_Friends.pdf&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091882000&amp;usg=AFQjCNGmcfB7qYN6bPCl9KtPELNICzNVXA\">For heterosexuals, the internet is now the most common way of meeting a marital partner.<\/a>\u00a0Bars and\u00a0restaurants are the\u00a0second most common place to meet a partner, with 27% reporting they met their partner there, up from 19% in 1990. Yet most of these initial in-person meet ups were actually precipitated by online connections, making the number of couples who owe their start to online dating even greater! Heterosexuals who meet on line tend to enter marriage more quickly than their counterparts who meet in other ways, but they do not have a higher risk of breakup.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Don\u2019t be afraid to buck outdated rules<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>As of 2016,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.census.gov\/library\/stories\/2018\/07\/interracial-marriages.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.census.gov\/library\/stories\/2018\/07\/interracial-marriages.html&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091882000&amp;usg=AFQjCNH8kPiNNesBYdyD0sR7pSyBLUJDdw\">one in ten marriages\u00a0<\/a>involved partners of different racial\/ethnic backgrounds, a more than three-fold increase from 1980. Among newlyweds, approximately\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2017\/06\/12\/key-facts-about-race-and-marriage-50-years-after-loving-v-virginia\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2017\/06\/12\/key-facts-about-race-and-marriage-50-years-after-loving-v-virginia\/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091882000&amp;usg=AFQjCNFhFJ8-z4NNkfcgm_Oe7NGkS7XRiw\">one in six<\/a>\u00a0is married to someone of a different race or ethnicity.\u00a0 Many researchers believe these trends reflect an erosion of the traditionally rigid boundaries between different faith communities and racial-ethnic groups.<\/li>\n<li>In the past, marriages where women had higher education or higher earnings than their husband had an elevated chance of divorce. But in recent decades women\u2019s advancements in\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/pdf\/10.1177\/0003122414539682?casa_token=iwfFdKQiWTIAAAAA:Z7_az1U0EU7S8D1Cw6GlKguubYnij4tLVaPoHukUJUTdvHCZdKwpXmMgPEsIjCfvXu-HWHYG2LPEWBg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/pdf\/10.1177\/0003122414539682?casa_token%3DiwfFdKQiWTIAAAAA:Z7_az1U0EU7S8D1Cw6GlKguubYnij4tLVaPoHukUJUTdvHCZdKwpXmMgPEsIjCfvXu-HWHYG2LPEWBg&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091882000&amp;usg=AFQjCNEjAoM3XuOGKq_bGox2qW3_rhRq4w\">education<\/a>\u00a0and the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.rsfjournal.org\/content\/rsfjss\/2\/4\/218.full.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.rsfjournal.org\/content\/rsfjss\/2\/4\/218.full.pdf&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091882000&amp;usg=AFQjCNGy6qGgG2Q-MLl-b7oKewUu_hi2cQ\">work force<\/a>\u00a0have ceased to threaten marital stability. Couples where men and women are educational equals are the least likely to divorce and those in which women are more educated than their male partners are no more likely to divorce than those where the man is more educated than the woman. Since the 1990s, couples where women earn as much or more than their husbands no longer have a higher risk for divorce.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>When making marital wishes, don\u2019t forget the nightly dishes<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>It turns out the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2016\/11\/30\/sharing-chores-a-key-to-good-marriage-say-majority-of-married-adults\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/fact-tank\/2016\/11\/30\/sharing-chores-a-key-to-good-marriage-say-majority-of-married-adults\/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091882000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHGMra-loCP0SNqURi9owdlhVTJ7Q\">best predictor<\/a>\u00a0of a happy marriage is not how good-looking, talented or rich your spouse is, but how much you share \u2013 in your conversations, your interests, and especially the daily routines of life, such as housework. Gender egalitarian and same-sex couples have some big advantages here, since they tend to share more equally. Sharing\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1111\/jomf.12313\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1111\/jomf.12313&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091883000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHyoYuyf94EjXhn6Bvg4bMoXHOHaA\">housework<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/full\/10.1177\/0891243215626709\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/full\/10.1177\/0891243215626709&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091883000&amp;usg=AFQjCNEBucvnbg0p2oelpsamKuOph9bVXw\">childcar<wbr \/>e<\/a>, especially, is associated with greater relationship quality \u2013 including more satisfying and frequent sex. But have a conversation about who is going to do what, because when it comes to sharing housework,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/pdf\/10.1177\/2378023118765867\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/pdf\/10.1177\/2378023118765867&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091883000&amp;usg=AFQjCNGPQLLtnblhU0a_hTioHcHQZHZZyg\">some tasks matter more than others<\/a>. If you\u2019re a woman in a heterosexual relationship and\u00a0your partner won\u2019t share the dishwashing, this could mean your relationship is headed in the wrong direction. 41% of women who do the majority of dishes say their relationship is in trouble, compared to just 20% of those who share dishwashing equally. Meanwhile, men are three times more satisfied with their relationships when their partner trusts their judgment enough to share the shopping.<\/li>\n<li>Talk it out. For women who want their partner to share responsibilities for domestic labor,\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/paa2019.populationassociation.org\/uploads\/190417\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=http:\/\/paa2019.populationassociation.org\/uploads\/190417&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091883000&amp;usg=AFQjCNFfbxO2edS6ekTI-upOiodxpet7Aw\">communication is key<\/a>. Men who report higher quality communication with their partner are more likely to do an equal share of housework and childcare.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>And always remember, single doesn\u2019t mean second-best<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Only 16% of men and 17% of women say that having a spouse is essential to their fulfillment. What IS essential for\u00a0a\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewsocialtrends.org\/2019\/11\/06\/marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.pewsocialtrends.org\/2019\/11\/06\/marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s\/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091883000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHylIlAG7029ZUnNkBAPd9HeLifJw\">fulfilling life<\/a>, according to 57% of men and 46% of women, is having an enjoyable job or career.<\/li>\n<li>Once you have an education and a secure income, you do have a better chance of getting married. But you also have a better chance of enjoying health, happiness, and a wide range of friendship networks if you stay single. In fact, at the highest income levels, never-married individuals\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0049089X1630789X\">actually report more<\/a>\u00a0supportive friendship networks then their married counterparts.<\/li>\n<li>This is an important advantage, because having supportive and numerous friendships is\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2018\/02\/10\/opinion\/sunday\/for-a-better-marriage-act-like-a-single-person.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2018\/02\/10\/opinion\/sunday\/for-a-better-marriage-act-like-a-single-person.html&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091883000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHheoH-otJJxWXD25Dx_yApGW_a1A\">a stronger predictor of mental and physical health<\/a>\u00a0than\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/ascopubs.org\/doi\/full\/10.1200\/JCO.2005.04.2846\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/ascopubs.org\/doi\/full\/10.1200\/JCO.2005.04.2846&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1580580091883000&amp;usg=AFQjCNEZVsnSoZlNN0ZvrqxZirf1kO5RMg\">being married<\/a>\u00a0or living with a partner.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/2020\/02\/04\/national-spouses-day-was-last-week-feeling-any-pressure-a-fact-sheet-on-prospects-for-marriage-in-contemporary-america\/\">Reprinted from 2020<\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>Daniel L. Carlson is Associate Professor, Department of Family and Consumer Studies, at the University of Utah, and a Board Member of the Council on Contemporary Families He can be reached at <a href=\"mailto:daniel.carlson@fcs.utah.edu\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">daniel.carlson@fcs.utah.edu<\/a>. Stephanie Coontz teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen State College, Olympia, WA and is Director of Research and Public Education at the Council on Contemporary Families. She can be reached at <a href=\"mailto:coontzs@msn.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">coontzs@msn.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>January 26 will be National Spouses Day, and Valentine\u2019s Day is just around the corner.\u00a0 If you\u2019re looking for a spouse \u2014 or hoping to become a better one \u2014 here are a few things you might want to know, including why you shouldn\u2019t panic if no one is on the horizon. Get a College [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2095,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30834],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-research-reports"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2095"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2428"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2428\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2431,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2428\/revisions\/2431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}