{"id":2238,"date":"2020-06-02T09:42:00","date_gmt":"2020-06-02T14:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/?p=2238"},"modified":"2020-06-02T09:42:00","modified_gmt":"2020-06-02T14:42:00","slug":"when-helicopters-go-to-school-who-gets-rescued-and-who-gets-left-behind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/ccf\/2020\/06\/02\/when-helicopters-go-to-school-who-gets-rescued-and-who-gets-left-behind\/","title":{"rendered":"When \u201cHelicopters\u201d Go to School: Who Gets Rescued and Who Gets Left Behind?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Image by klimkin<\/a> from Pixabay<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A briefing paper prepared for the <\/em>Council on Contemporary Families<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all read about \u2013 and maybe even known \u2013 the \u201chelicopter\u201d parents who sweep into K-12 schools, demanding special treatment for their children, second-guessing teachers\u2019 grades or comments, and insisting that schools adapt to their child\u2019s unique needs. Teachers\u00a0complain<\/a>\u00a0that these parents are \u201calways rescuing their kids,\u201d hovering over them and \u201cmaking sure everything is done for them.\u201d<\/p>\n

As one elementary-school teacher\u00a0wrote<\/a>\u00a0in an \u201copen letter\u201d to \u201chelicopter\u201d parents, \u201cI love you, I do. But some of the things you do drive me nuts and are really bad for your kid! \u2026Please, let them do their own work. Let them make mistakes and learn from them. Teach them hard work, success and failure.\u201d In an online magazine for teachers, 5th-grade teacher Abigail Courter\u00a0warned\u00a0<\/a>that parents may be \u201ceducators\u2019 greatest assets\u201d but they are also \u201cat times, our biggest nemesis,\u201d especially when they set their children up for failure by not teaching them how to cope with setbacks.<\/p>\n

Yet whatever the long-term risks may be, \u201chelicopter\u201d parenting can\u00a0give kids an edge<\/a>\u00a0in the tight race for \u201celite\u201d college admissions and \u201celite\u201d professional jobs. Most \u201chelicopter\u201d parents are\u00a0highly-educated, affluent white mothers<\/a>\u00a0who intervene because\u00a0they want their children to grow up to be highly-educated and affluent<\/a>\u00a0as well. \u201cHelicopter\u201d parents\u00a0send their children<\/a>\u00a0to \u201chigh-quality\u201d schools\u2014schools whose reputation for academic rigor will help their children get into an elite college. But they do not shrink from undermining that rigor when it comes to their own children. They lobby for their children\u2019s admittance to\u00a0\u201cgifted\u201d programs<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Advanced Placement<\/a>\u00a0courses even when they don\u2019t qualify. They resist their children\u00a0being punished<\/a>\u00a0when they break the rules. They demand that their children be\u00a0given higher grades<\/a>even when they didn\u2019t earn them and press for letters of recommendation to\u00a0elite colleges<\/a>\u00a0even when their children weren\u2019t offered those on their own merits.<\/p>\n

Now, it\u2019s clear why \u201chelicopter\u201d parents have an interest in giving their children an edge in school. What\u2019s less clear, though, is why schools are willing to let those parents give their children that edge at the expense of other children in school. Most educators honestly believe in equal treatment \u2013 and equal consequences \u2013 for all their students. So why do so many schools end up catering to privileged \u201chelicopter\u201d parents and their children, even when it goes against what teachers believe is best for students and undermines a school\u2019s commitment to fair and equal treatment of students?<\/p>\n

To answer this question, I spent three years observing and interviewing teachers, administrators, parents, and students at a socioeconomically diverse, public elementary school I call Maplewood (research-related regulations require that I protect the privacy and anonymity of my participants by not disclosing their names or the name of the school). In doing so, I found that:<\/p>\n

To achieve or maintain a reputation as \u201chigh-quality,\u201d schools rely on privileged \u201chelicopter\u201d parents for\u00a0<\/strong>tax dollars<\/strong><\/a>,\u00a0<\/strong>donations<\/strong><\/a>, and\u00a0<\/strong>volunteer hours<\/strong><\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cHelicopter\u201d parents (especially higher-SES, white, stay-at-home and part-time-employed mothers) are often the mainstay of the unpaid volunteer labor force that schools must rely on to provide quality instruction and activities. As a result, teachers use special favors and strategic rule exemptions to avoid conflict with such parents and keep on their good side.<\/p>\n