1. The Baby’s fine. The kid with the bubbles needed a verbal warning and a lesson in housekeeping; parents who reward childish disruptions live to see repeat performances for many years.

2. Proctor and Gamble, uninterested in affirming or rejecting any social norms, had a different motive in advertising this value proposition for Bounty. They literally CREATED a market where none existed, by convincing people that the means of cleaning kitchen mess should be routinely disposed of along with the mess itself. Disposable paper replaced the unsanitary towel that needed to be washed constantly. Hence, no need to fret over your dullard son entertaining the baby by pissing you off–just wipe and toss. They made hundreds of millions. Gotta hand it to them.

3. We need an “ideology of intensive parenting” in which the decision to bring a child into the world is met with a commitment to sacrifice for the family. Each mother and father team needs to sort it out for themselves and those who criticize others are advised to look into own affairs first.