Comments on: Gender-Variant Children Continue to Confound

By: Austino

Austino — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 02:18:00 +0000

I tend to agree with Casey here. Those defying nature must be ignorant. Transgender remains a word but also calling yourself a transgender does not change your real gender. We are probably thinking wishfully to say you appreciate the other gender more than what nature endowed on you from the onset. That is the work of poor self image for posing what you are not no matter how you determine it’s outcome. This is a split personality behavior. Stay in your area and appreciate who you are and I stay in my little corner where I can be myself. If you are black be black do not try to change to white, it is not your portion from the onset. Casey, you hit on many areas of interest.

By: Renee

Renee — Mon, 10 Feb 2014 23:11:00 +0000

“When a boy wants to act like a girl, it subconsciously
shakes our foundation, because why would someone want to be the lesser gender?”

“The shift, however, almost never goes the other way. That’s because girls gain status by moving
into “boy” space, while boys are tainted by the slightest whiff of
femininity. ‘There’s a lot more
privilege to being a man in our society,’ says Diane Ehrensaft”

I don’t have the insight into this. Maybe you can explain more? The female has a lower status,
right? Well, black people have a
lower status too. And when a white
person wants to “act black” or “act ghetto” it’s kind of lovable in most white
people’s eyes. They don’t hate or
feel their anger rising for this white person.

I’m a light skinned Latino. And when I tell white people that black people in Harlem
mistook me for white, they get extremely uncomfortable. They fidget when I say that (to them, I
look really dark).

Why don’t those two quotes apply to race/skin color/whatever
you want to call it?

Maybe it’s because white people and/or white men know
they’re obviously not black. They
just can’t be black. They’re
white. It’s internally in their genes
and externally in their skin. But
no one can tell outright if you’re gay or not so maybe they’re scared of being
gay or being seen as gay.

OR! A white, gay man has all privileges in common with the white,
straight man except for sexual orientation. “Almost-but-not-quite” scares this straight, white guy in a “We
have a little too much in common for you to be gay” kind of way.

I don’t know.

By: Dixon Keys

Dixon Keys — Wed, 11 Dec 2013 06:31:00 +0000

It’s interesting historically what was acceptable as fashion. A few hundred years ago the European aristocracy wore heels because they were impractical… just to show people who were born into the privileged class didn’t have to do manual labour. The trend first got started because shoes with heels were better on horsebacks in battle.
Into the 1970s & 1980s some Chinese men wore sandals with heels. Back in those days China were ruled by a hardline communist dictator. There was no concept of fashion. Practically everybody wore white shirts with gray pants. There was nothing against men wearing sandals with heels except they tend to be black or brown (the color wore by the masses).
In modern times when men first started wearing earrings those who wore them on the left tend to be classified as straight and those who wore them on the right or both sides as gay. Since earrings are meant to be worn on both ears, this kind of artificial classification is gone… although some people still feel certain types of clothing as being specifically designed for women and certain ones for men. If you cross the line then you are labelled as gay. On the other hand, there are some who like cross-dressing but still consider themselves to be straight.

By: Bedford Hope

Bedford Hope — Wed, 21 Aug 2013 15:23:00 +0000

as the father of one of the children in this photo, I’d like to say that the hyper-femininity associated with these children is fascinating, because it didn’t come from us; that is to say, my wife doesn’t wear make-up or wear heels, we don’t adhere to traditional gender roles in terms of division of work, etc. My child is a teenager now, and identifies as a boy more or less, though he also likes to refer to himself as a girl on occasion, and doesn’t care which pronoun is used. He’s not out as anything sexually. But we suspect the obvious. He wasn’t interested in drugs or hormones are therapy. Where we live, he has had a happy and great childhood. When people aren’t assholes, these kids can thrive. One theory that one expert in our community promotes is the notion that these kids are mostly gay (they most often end up identifying gay, traditionally) and this play is a kind of sexual rehearsal play, which many primate species engage in; to attract a prince be a princess, at puberty, many of these kids realize for a gay man, it’s best not to be femme, and they norm their behaviors, reeling in the femme. Of course, femme phobia pervades the culture; traditional lesbians deride it, progressives and feminists deride it; gay men deride femme, too, the pecking order is there, as everywhere, butch on top, man on top, woman on the bottom. What we think of as ‘gender expression’ is in fact, a whole other axis from gender identity and sexual preference, for some at any rate. The stuff we think of as gendered is really important, and some people use it reinforce a binary and some use the exact same stuff to break it down. Culture informs some deeply hardwired stuff, but we bring meaning to the interaction of the two; the culture is changing far faster than science can measure it; absolute understanding is impossible. As a close observer, I’d say that our traditional notions of gender identity and sexual preference have always been a gross simplification; even the two axis space of preference and identity is a gross simplification. Oh, and i’d avoid the word ‘deviance,’ when talking about this; variance is less derogatory, and in general, we now speak of gender non-conforming kids, instead of gender variant kids, because it’s less clinical, less pathological sounding. And more accurate.

By: jessi_mae

jessi_mae — Sat, 18 May 2013 17:24:00 +0000

It’s sometimes difficult to understand that which you haven’t experienced so I want to thank the individuals who have shared their unique experiences with gender here. Several of you have made points and connections that, as a cis-woman, I may not have thought of on my own.

A personal anecdote: I have a friend who’s tried very hard to encourage gender neutral options for her daughter. Much to her dismay her daughter adores Disney Princesses, frilly dresses, pink, and all things that in our culture scream “Girl!” with a capital G. How has she dealt with this? She encourages her child to express herself as she sees herself… The same should go for any child IMO.

This picture, to me, represents children who are exploring femininity and gender expression in a safe place where they might not otherwise have any other outlet to do so. I see in their clothing things our culture labels “feminine” but not necessarily, to me, hyperfeminine. The clothes, jewelry, nail polish, etc are not, in my view, more feminine than what I often see other little girls wearing… *Especially* in the context of playing dress up or having a fashion show!

By: Stefanie Graul

Stefanie Graul — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 14:10:00 +0000

I think, what is sensed like hyperfeminization in the adult generation, for teens today is just normal, because the images of feminity they absorb are hypersexualized. Tomboys maybe don`t reject anything at all – they just whant to have more power, freedom and selfdetermination linked with the male image. And if you reject sexual attention it has nothing to do with rejecting ones body – it’s only thought to be normal for girl to be attractive and to be looked at. Girls who play boys are at first more accepted because boyishness is the more worshiped system. if they get dragkings and seriously demand male society role, it ‘ kind of a tabu – but exists. Thank you for your interesting article – but why gender-deviance?

By: stilladyj

stilladyj — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 18:13:00 +0000

Exactly. He makes a big deal about the way they’re sitting, but they’re in knee-length skirts, how else are they supposed to sit? Would it be a less sexual pose if they let their legs gape and flashed everyone?

By: stilladyj

stilladyj — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 18:10:00 +0000

I’m confused as to why this is seen as sexuality. I get the high heels, but nail polish is just color, it’s pretty, same with jewelry. As for the way they’re sitting, well, they’re wearing skirts. How else are they supposed to sit without flashing someone? I have screwed up hips, so I have to cross my legs somehow or they cramp, so maybe I’m just different – but maybe they’re sitting that way because it’s comfortable.

By: Ollie

Ollie — Sun, 02 Sep 2012 00:58:00 +0000

This was my experience too. I’m still struggling with the idea of femininity, as I grew up to think of it (and everything associated with it) as inferior/weak/decorative -it’s all the misogyny I’ve absorbed growing up and I know it. I’m trying to get rid of it but instinctively I tend to choose the masculine rather than the feminine option in most things.

I still hate sexual attention; I refuse to wear anything sexy and women who embrace and flaunt their sexuality make me extremely uncomfortable (because whenever I’m near them people will instantly start putting pressure on me to be the same). Paradoxically, the more effort I put into blending in with the guys, the more people notice I’m a woman and I end up getting a lot of male attention anyway -which is not good.

By: Snuhfoo

Snuhfoo — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 01:37:00 +0000

I think our childhoods may have had a lot of similarities. I can clearly remember sitting in the kitchen with the women in my family and desperately wanting to get out of there and sit with the guys watching TV. I resented being told I needed to be more lady-like. I had no interest in being passive but pretty. I eventually started rejecting everything associated with being feminine on the simple basis that it was feminine.

As I got older, I could never figure out what’s with these women who so think being a woman is so great. It turns out they figured out something that I didn’t. I rejected anything feminine because I bought into the lie that anything feminine is inferior. They simply didn’t believe this and were able to embrace there femininity. Even more amazingly, while I silently judged them for being feminine, they weren’t judging me for being unfeminine. The very women that I considered to be willing participants in the patriarchy turned out to rejecting it while I still upheld the standard that feminine is inferior.
To this day, I am still not particularly feminine but I am much more tolerant of femininity. When I read your posts, I can’t help but wonder if you are making the same mistake that I did (and sometimes still do). It’s okay that femininity isn’t interesting to you, but if you find yourself rejecting solely on the basis that it is feminine, you may need to slow down and carefully think about why something feminine bothers you so much.

By: Another Darn Trans Man

Another Darn Trans Man — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 07:43:00 +0000

Well, yeah, everybody’s different.

Still, as I understand you, you just said you transitioned because you are not a woman and didn’t like people’s responses to your body pushing you into the role of one. You made your body better match/express a “not-woman” identity. What didn’t happen is you thinking, “Oh, I hate the role of a woman, even though I’m comfortable conceiving of myself as a woman,” and transitioning because of that.

By: glaborous_immolate

glaborous_immolate — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 02:43:00 +0000

”
I hope that in future we can accept that every individual, regardless of gender, has a rich and diverse personality and preferences for personal appearance or chosen activities should never be gendered as ‘masculine’ or feminine.”

maybe. but many cismen and ciswomen actually consider their genders really simple, clear, and obvious, and dont vascillate between things they categorize as masculine and feminine.

It almost seems like the only way not to privilege cisnormativity is to make having a ‘rich and diverse personality’ privileged (look at the words chosen: rich and diverse are all warm and fuzzy words) to like dresses AND combat boots makes you richly diverse in your persona, not like the regular men and women who just have boring ol’ normative genders

By: Jeanne

Jeanne — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 02:09:00 +0000

OK, it is difficult for you to grasp what it is to be transgender if you are not. Perhaps on this topic more of you should just listen and learn and save theory for thing without feelings. Life is hard enough without us having to explain why we act and dress the way we do when we stop hiding and trying to live out lives as we think you want us to be.

By: J Blyth

J Blyth — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 03:07:00 +0000

Thinking on the “tomboy” aspect, has anyone seen the trailer/movie Tomboy (2011). It seems to touch on gender roles in a somewhat controversial and endearing way. Check out the trailer here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvfdCI4MArQ

By: Jill Davidson

Jill Davidson — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 19:15:00 +0000

I don’t see the picture as hyper-sexualized little girls – I see what appear to be three girls dressed up. These are kids who have been denied expressions of femininity in many settings, and they get a chance to relax and have fun in a place where they are safe. A fashion show is supposed to involve dressing up.

Being a feminine boy is not the same social experience as being a masculine girl. Tomboys before puberty are not as likely to be physically assaulted or killed as are feminine boys. Masculine behavior in a young girl is likely to be praised as independence, strength, and health. Feminine behavior in a young boy is likely to be attacked as weak and unhealthy. There are of course, pressures on tomboys to be feminine during and following puberty. US society has a problem with femininity, period.