Twenty-three of you (a record I think) have sent in this clip of a little girl in a toy store critiquing the way the store is divided into pink princesses for girls and superheros for boys. It’s heartwarming and inspiring to see a child offer a critical analysis of the world she lives in, something that most commentators have observed.
What I, and some of you, noticed was that her own analysis and that of the adult taking the video (presumably her Dad) differ. And, believe it or not, her analysis is more correct than his.
Rightfully identifying what sociologists call “androcentrism,” she notes that girls like both girl and boy toys, but boys only like boy toys. She says:
…because girls want superheros and the boys want superheros and the girls want pink stuff and the girls… and the boys want… and the boys don’t want pink stuff… (gently shaking her head back and forth)
Her Dad corrects her, saying “Boys, well, boys want both…”
But her Dad is wrong. Boys in the U.S. are taught from a very early age to avoid everything associated with girls. Being called a “girl” is, in itself, an insult to boys. And the slurs “sissy” and “fag” are reserved for men who act feminine. So, no, boys (who have learned the rules of how to be a boy) generally reject anything girly. (Indeed, this was one of the themes of Jimmy Kimmel “bad present” prank played by parents on their kids.)
The girl’s Dad, however, articulates a symmetrical analysis. The idea is that there are gender stereotypes — ones that apply to boys and ones that apply to girls — and that both are inaccurate, unfair, and constraining. His mistake is in missing the asymmetrical value placed on masculinity and femininity. Boys and girls are simply not positioned equally in relationship to stereotypes of femininity and masculinity.
I have to admit, it’s pretty neat that she has picked up on this nuance so early. I wish most adults had her insight… and her passion:
Thanks to James, Julie G., Carly M., Brooklin N., BogganStoryTeller, Denise, Allie H., Yvonne R., Mark L., Karim S., Ann K., Lenny M., Isabeau P.-S., Daniel K., Marsha, Jay L., Shayna A.-S., Josh W., Kimberly L., Melissa, Colleen W., Simon G., and Brad for sending in the link!
Lisa Wade, PhD is an Associate Professor at Tulane University. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture; a textbook about gender; and a forthcoming introductory text: Terrible Magnificent Sociology. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Comments 47
Bg Cervera — January 2, 2012
Future sociologist there :')
Anonymous — January 2, 2012
Riley does say later in the video that both girls and boys like to play both with superheroes and princesses (check out :45-1:00). But anyway Riley is radical.
Mad Joy — January 2, 2012
I really disagree with your analysis here. Yes, boys (who have learned the rules of how to be a boy) do reject anything girly - much in the same way that girls (who have learned the rules of how to be a girl) reject anything too boy-y (ex. superheros). The thing is that there is a problem with the "rules" of how to be a boy and a girl.
There are indeed many boys who want to play with pink things and Barbies, and are not able to do so.
Herbert Braun — January 2, 2012
Wasn't it just yesterday when you wrote that "Lego has spent most of the last decade focusing their products on boys. They have deliberately designed products that they expect will appeal to boys and included boys almost exclusively in their marketing material" (http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2012/01/01/beauty-and-the-new-lego-line-for-girls/)? Seems like a contradiction to me.
Anonymous — January 2, 2012
Clever girl. I just hope that her dad sees that she's right. The esclusively symmetrical mindset is so common nowadays, and it would be tragic to have her roped into it when she was right from the start
e h — January 2, 2012
Interesting that it is a girl with a traditional boy's name who points this out, too. I wonder if her name (not what it is but how her parents settled on it) has something to do with the father's insistence on a symmetrical analysis - he's justifying himself as much as he is justifying her righteous rant.
Sam Rogowski — January 2, 2012
Thats interesting because my nephew wants girl toys and boy toys.
Tinagrant — January 2, 2012
Has everybody already discussed how well this child has been coached by her parents? Critical thinking good; brainwashing bad...whether it's by toy companies who are generally whores or by parents whom I happen to think are right.
tdm — January 2, 2012
My boys want kitchen toys and babies. I think it's natural until they're turned away from it. My oldest is 4. It's not taboo yet.
Matt Weiss — January 2, 2012
I'm not sure I understand the point of arguing that the dad's "mistake is in missing the asymmetrical value placed on masculinity and femininity." He was commenting on desire (what little boys and girls WANT to play with), and constrictions placed upon that desire. To argue (as some commenters here are doing) that girls are less constrained in their choice than boys (thus indicating a negative attitude toward the choice of female-oriented objects), seems to both fly in the face of what Riley is saying (that SHE feels constrained), and derail the conversation in exactly the wrong direction (a comparison of who is more constrained, especially in the absence of a discussion of privilege, is pointless. Example: heteronormative expectations that girls can kiss other girls, but boys can't kiss boys. Girls have more apparent "freedom," but are not, in fact, empowered thereby, etc.).
In other words: can't we just focus on what Riley says without trying to "catch" her dad in some imagined faux pas?
Lisa Karakaya — January 2, 2012
Love
codeman38 — January 2, 2012
Could you make it a New Year's resolution to at least try to seek out transcripts for videos and link to them when available?
I couldn't understand half of what Riley was saying, but managed to find this transcript with a quick Google search for the video's title plus "transcript": http://pastebin.com/8KGYFH50
bovidae — January 2, 2012
SO CUTE :3. that is all.
Riversweet8 — January 2, 2012
I think it is incorrect to say that "her Dad is wrong". It would be more accurate to say that many (but not all) boys in the U.S. are taught from a very early age to avoid "girly" things. My boys have always like pink, in fact my 8 y/o just chose a pair of boots that are black & pink and he has not had any comments except one girl classmate who thought they were cute. I have not ever told them they can't wear pink or play with dolls, kitchen sets, etc....what I mean to say is that I think plenty of boys would very much like to play with toys labeled for and marketed to girls if they were allowed to.
Huh? — January 3, 2012
Hm, i'm normally pretty much 100% on with this blog but i have to disagree with this post, both on factual and analytic basis.
I think it's erroneous to say that she's arguing that both boys and girls like boy stuff while only girls like girl stuff. In fact she makes the OPPOSITE argument saying that "companies try to trick girls into buying the pink stuff instead of stuff that boys want to buy." Further Riley DOES actually say that "some boys like superheroes, some boys like princesses" and that "girls have to buy pink stuff and boys have to buy different color stuff." So it seems to me that's actually commenting on the ridiculousness of gendering products - for both boys and girls (which is not to say the author's comments aren't true, they're just not Riley's comments).
Further, even if she WAS making the argument claimed here (and "out-analyzing" her dad) i have to agree with other commenters that it seems unhelpful and little... i don't know, mean, to position this girl's father (who presumably has had a hand in helping Riley to develop her voice this way and critique society, and who even films this tirade - an approval - and calls her questions "good") as being "wrong" or somehow "not getting it."
(let me just state outright that i completely agree with the AUTHOR'S position that gender stereotypes do not equally and symmetrically apply to fe/males, and i completely agree - and it's well documented - that boys' products are socially 'allowed' to appeal to both sexes while boys are punished for liking 'girl' products. I just think it's false to say that's the argument RILEY'S making and feel funny about what reads to me as sort of bashing a Dad who seems pretty conscientious.)
Andres — January 3, 2012
As a male, I've liked both "girl stuff" and "boy stuff". I remember waking up really early in the morning to watch Sailor Moon and coming home from school to watch Batman. So I don't think that it's true that boys don't like "girl stuff". Even if they are taught "the rules of being a boy", they might still like those things but simply hide it or deny it, as many of my elementary school friends did as they got older. So when Riley's father corrected her, I felt it was a positive thing because it encouraged her to treat men and women equally and to consider and accept the possibility that boys might like "girl stuff" as well.
Brandon — January 3, 2012
Can we be careful with this...
"Boys and girls are simply not
positioned equally in relationship to stereotypes of femininity and
masculinity."
It almost implies that girls and women aren't subject to the gender policing, too.
Captain Pasty — January 4, 2012
This girl is cool and awesome.
Renee — February 10, 2014
This little girl doesn't really have the insight to it. She has the knowledge but she's just repeating everything her dad is saying is why she doesn't have the insight. I guess this strikes an emotional response in me is b/c although I agree with what's coming out of her mouth... I don't like that her dad is teaching her to blindly believe in what he believes in. Most little girls are forced to blindly believe w/e their parents say. Give them some analytical skills!
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