It's a little sexist, too. It assumes that a single woman can't possibly go out and buy her own little sparkly thing.

What sucks is having to buy companionship via bribes in the form of (ostensibly) diamonds. I've seen this ad in Toronto. I actually had to stop walking to drink it in!

Aside from the idiotic message, that poster suffers from appallingly poor design. That makes it offensive on at least two levels.

Their website is also great, with a very clear story about who buys rings for whom. For women, "How to help him find the engagement ring of your dreams." For men, "How to find the ring she really wants."

Don't worry, if you scroll allllll the way to the bottom, there is an afterthought about men's rings: "He’s too worried about your engagement ring to think about his wedding band right now. But that doesn’t mean you can’t start looking for him."

I've found the idea that being unmarried = being along is a lot more prevalent than I thought, since my partner and I decided to remain unmarried. People tend to give you very odd looks when you outright say you're unmarried by choice, and plan on staying that way.

It especially comes up because we have a kid. I can't count the number of times people ask if we plan on getting married 'for your son.'

Wow, painful. Do they have to be such an asshole about it? I think the only good thing about this ad is that it's NOT subtle. A lot of ads are subtle and we pick them apart, what is the message, yadda yadda. I mean, I'm single, I don't love it, but I'd rather be alone than with someone I don't get along with, and married for the sake of being married. I just think they are trying too hard to make single people cry, does this make them happy? I know coupled people feel superior, but really, to come right out and say something like this? Where most ads assume the "default" coupling-is-ideal, just like when the radio seems only to play sappy love songs right after you broke up with someone, this is just an intentional slap to the face. TACKY and MEAN.

Not to forget to mention, not everyone wants to be married or wear a diamond ring. I have twice as many diamond rings as that ad has and no husband. So what does an engagement ring have to do with warding of loneliness?

And I agree with Allison - the design of this ad is fug.

I am shocked by how many of my never married friends fall for the diamond syndicate's massive campaign to associate "love" with "diamonds." They tell me, "Girl, I'm buying my own ring; I can't wait for a man to buy me one!" Why do you even want such a useless frippery? There's no accounting for taste, but it's sad that these friends attach such a burden of meaning to a piece of jewelry that has no inherent value. I do not understand diamonds, and I have a hard time swallowing their gendered, commercialized symbolic role in our culture. Ceteris paribus, I'd rather have a piece of lemon cake.

Ha! I've seen this in Toronto as well but I couldn't get past being upset about the design long enough to be upset about the actual content. Their radio spots are equally as ridiculous.

Actually, they could have made this a pun to entice men to buy more expensive engagement rings.

They could have contrasted a solitaire against a three stone engagement ring.

It doesn't make any less stigmatizing, but if you're going to be offensive, why not add a dash of guilting people into conspicuous consumerism.

I'm a woman in my early twenties, which is about the age lots of ladies start embarking on the husband search in earnest.

I'm currently single and celibate by choice.

I've never felt less alone in my life.

While we are talking about single people, you should make a blog about single people in the military who are discriminated against all the time.

An example is that single people must live in the barracks, while married soldier receive extra money to live off base. Same goes for food. Married soldiers get paid extra (Family Separation Allowance = as if mom and dad aren't family, and what about orphans?) Also married soldiers do not get their living quarters inspected every day and there are other inconviences.

Thanks so much for this great post (and for the wonderful website)! Several readers of my Living Single blog sent me links to it, and I've already posted about it:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201012/imagine-all-the-singlism-prejudice-in-pictures

Spence Diamonds is horrible at advertising. http://runningwithavagina.wordpress.com/2009/12/19/dear-spence-you-suck/

It's not every day that an ad manages to be offensive to just about everyone: the never married, the currently married, and the divorced alike.

It was almost worth it, though, to read Gwen's sarcasm.

I like that "alone" is printed on the ring; a great commentary on the stifling alienation of capitalism. lol

I hate this ad, and I have to walk past it twice a day on my walk to work. It annoys me every time.

No, it doesn't suck to be alone. Really, I'm not 'alone'; I have a great family, good friends, coworkers, and an awesome dog. I have no desire to have a romantic/sexual partner.

Also, why is "It" so BIG? Every time I see this ad, I try to figure out if I'm missing something (aside from the boyfriend and hunk of rock that will make my life complete, of course).

Thanks for posting this, Gwen. Seriously, I saw those ads and thought, "It also sucks to be":

1) in a loveless marriage/partnered unhappily;

2) exploited, abused, raped and murdered by paramilitary mine operators and other economic predators in the gemstone mining industry. (Even if Spence Diamonds says that their diamonds are "conflict-free" the industry that they are a part of certainly isn't. And it doesn't guarantee that mining companies in non-conflict zones are paying living wages, treating their employees fairly, not involved in government corruption/graft...) And it would really suck to be putting forward the message that people can only be happy -if- they buy a commodity that comes from such a bloody industry;

3) putting this message out there during the Christmas season, which is when a lot of people are feeling especially alone. Like my ex-mother-in-law, who is looking at the second anniversary of having lost her husband. Thanks for the message of Christmas cheer, Spence Diamonds!

I've already written them an incensed email.

as far as marketing goes, i wouldnt put Alone on the ring

Destroying romantic love is but the first step in revolting against the biological drives that cause illusory suffering.

The next step is to revolt against breeding. More than sexism, racism, classism, any -ism you care to name, people assume this bias more righteously and with more vigor than any other. In fact, no child is born consensually, that is, no child asks for it. It is determined (or with neglectful happenstance) that parents decide to bring a child into the world, without their consent, in which they will face all manner of sexism, racism, classism, and then eventually die in suffering.

Furthermore, should everyone agree to cease breeding now, we would presently have 3 generations who could subsist upon present resources, thus eliminating problems regarding peak oil, climate change, alternative energy, world food shortages, and a host of other problems based on global resources. We would simply use up the resources then die out, without forcing anyone else to be born to carry our dumb biological torch.

I am not a feminist, but I have always gotten along with radical feminists, and as they get more moderate, I can't stand them at all. Radical feminists will say, "Listen up, jerk!" and then get in an argument with you, and you can end up buying each other drinks. Other feminists are constantly "offended" by something, or find something "offensive" and want to squawk about it and claim their little grain of power and then march off to talk about it at their meeting at the sex bookstore.

Frankly, to empathize though, I am disgusted by nearly everything. In the grocery store there is chicken with pictures of chickens on it telling me to eat them, there are ads telling me I love football and big trucks, there are ads telling me that every female I know is a money-grubbing whore, and I know that none of these are true.

I have been disgusted by society for so long that I don't remember anything else, but I would never, ever, imagine being "offended" by anything. That implies that you can pull out a specific part of this dark web, examine it under a microscope, find out what is wrong with it and change it, then move on to the next sector, possibly even leaving a trail of people you've "schooled" along the way.

While I'm infiltrating to learn something from people who might normally hate me (making them laugh, getting along with them), you're "offended" and teaching them lessons. Yours is the height of arrogance, and this website, despite its excellent collection of social artifacts, illuminates that.

I think you're gonna like this ...Its my birthday, Im alone...yet not lonely

Our FootNote TV story on Pittsburgh, Pa... its "engaging" http://www.fntv.com/episodes/s1e1/

MARRY AND REPRODUCE

Can't. believe. this.

I strongly recommand Elizabeth Abbott's book on celibacy to whoever wants to do some brain detox over this issue.

Ironically, the name for stone setting of that particular ring is "SOLITAIRE."

Man, I did not realize that because my boyfriend has never bought me a diamond (which he knows I don't really want anyway) then he must not really exist. Oh how alone I feel!

stigmatising single people? WTF? Lmao - yeh, that's what's wrong in the world - the plight of the single person 'desperate' to not be stigmatised - all you starving, dispossessed and poor people get to the back of the line and stop ya whinging - we've got a serious issue here - Jesus, I really needed a laugh. Thanks.

I find this ad a little strange. The intended message is "Being alone sucks, so get married - using one of our expensive diamond rings, of course!" However, single people aren't generally in a position to buy engagement rings - people who are ALREADY in relationships are the people who buy engagement rings. So what's the point, from a marketing standpoint? "Being alone sucks, so go out and get yourself a partner and then, in three or four years when you might decide to get married, keep this ad in mind for when you go engagement ring shopping!"

Actually, come to think of it, I think there might be another interpretation - one that plays on the (not uncommon) occurrence of the girlfriend giving the boyfriend an ultimatum: marry me, or we're through. So in that case, buying her a diamond would be better than being alone? That's still a ridiculously small target demographic. What an odd ad.

The emphasis in the text makes me think that the clown from Stephen Kings novel is sucking something in order to be alone.

But then where does the ring come in? O__o

damn that ad makes me sick to my stomach.

and i wouldnt put a fucking diamond on my hand if you PAID me.

Gwen, You're watching the wrong ads and TV shows. Try the ones that show single people having the kinds of wonderful fun that married people are incapable of. Such representations in the media are not exactly hard to find.

Sorry about the ad, guys. I was on a deadline and had to make it in five minutes on Microsoft Paint. Didn't realize it would suck so bad. Almost as bad as it does to not have a sugar daddy.

The comments here are their own gender study.

I'm a man, and I think this ad is not aimed at women at all. To me it's aimed at getting men to get off their butt and ask their girlfriend to marry them.

I'm a little puzzled by women who think this ad is aimed at them. Rightly or wrongly, the woman is typically the recipient of the engagement ring. Therefore, the ad is speaking at the purchaser. That is, men.

I forget where I heard it, but sometimes it's true that the only thing worse than being alone... is wishing you were.

But anyway, I thought the ad was a not-so-subtle allusion to an unspoken (mostly) understanding among many men that such a ring guarantees a few blowjobs, if nothing else.

I am happy single, happy childfree, 29 years old and I plan on staying that way. I do not by any means desire to be in a relationship. I thought I would share this website -- Alternatives to Marriage -- http://www.unmarried.org

Also I love this article -- Taiwanese woman to marry herself -- http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/taiwan/8080685/Taiwanese-woman-to-marry-herself.html

Stats on single and unmarried life -- http://www.unmarried.org/statistics.html -- "In 2005, unmarried households became the majority of all U.S. households. - U.S. Census Bureau. American Community Survey: 2005."

I get the idea from this ad that "IT SUCKS TO BE ALONE" means, if you don't buy your magpie, I mean, woman, a shiny thing NOW, she will leave you and you will be ALONE and it will SUCK.

So it's for partnered men that have to keep forking out the dough for shiny stuff so they don't get left to die sucking and alone.

As an aside - I wonder when "SUCK" became a kosher thing to put on public ads. Was there an instance one could point to in time that was the tipping point? Because it's kind of a rude and sexist/homophobic thing to say if you think it through (what is it being sucked? who is it that sucks the thing that is being sucked? why is it bad to be that person that sucks the thing that is being sucked? etc.)