Comments on: To Whom Do Children “Just Happen”?

By: Julie

Julie — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 13:24:00 +0000

Exactly. I really hate the attitude that children “just happen.” They DON’T. Even if an accidental pregnancy occurs, making a child of it takes several months. Even in places where abortion is illegal, it’s still an option (albeit an unsafe one.) If anyone has a child, even if the pregnancy is accidental, and even if they didn’t want to carry it to term, it certainly didn’t “just happen.” Children could only be said to “just happen” if the stork dropped them off.

By: Dilemmas & Douches - Book Badger

Dilemmas & Douches - Book Badger — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 18:40:32 +0000

[...] Maybe if enough people read this book we would find young women better understanding their ‘yeses’ and being more empowered in the delivery of their ‘noes’. Maybe those ‘yeses’ could be real ‘yeses’ instead of just a lack of a ‘no’. Maybe teenage girls will have enough agency in their own sex lives to move beyond ‘it just happened’ – which, by the way, is how more than 1/3 of first born children are brought into the world, they “just happen”. [...]

By: Tardigrade

Tardigrade — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 02:39:04 +0000

Anyone else have a problem with the “Age of Birth of First Child” statistics grouping 15 – 17 year olds in with 18-19 year olds?

In the US there is a very real division between these age ranges, both legal and cultural, whereas the division between 18 and 20 year olds is more psychological than anything else.

By: Kristina

Kristina — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 13:14:47 +0000

I wonder if these people to whom child(ren) “just happened” had access to abortion? Because if they did, the child didn’t “just happen” – continuing a pregnancy is just as much of a choice as terminating one is.

By: mooklepticon

mooklepticon — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 02:50:47 +0000

What do they mean by “just happened”?

My wife and I were trying to have our first child. We were timing it by NFP and everything. It wasn’t working. Then, when she was in her infertile period, we had sex again just to be married. Turns out she wasn’t infertile. Our daughter “just happened”.

By: Mishou

Mishou — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 18:29:25 +0000

In her book *Birthing the Nation* Rhoda Kanaaneh examines fertility of Palestinian women in Israel and one of the recurring themes she finds is the use of a rhetoric of “accidental pregnancy” to counteract the stigma attached to a negatively characterized birth (in her study this was many children, in the U.S. this could be having a child while being the “wrong” age, class, race, or relationship). This rhetoric was used even when actions were taken to increase the likelihood of pregnancy, often becoming part of the story told (I forgot to take my pill, etc). Interesting to keep in mind that even if there was a clear definition of what “just happened” meant, the response may be measuring the social stories we tell about fertility (especially those in groups most scrutinized for childbearing).

By: Zahara

Zahara — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 17:13:09 +0000

Also, children only tend to ‘just happen’ to heterosexual fertile couples – other parents have to put a lot more effort in

By: b

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 04:02:09 +0000

Yeah, there are plenty of people who go through a period of “we’re not NOT trying” before they actually do anything to actively try to get pregnant, and might count it as “it just happened” if it happened then.

By: mom2gcnj

mom2gcnj — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 22:43:16 +0000

It seems that Pew needs to work on defining its labels.

So do babies “just happening” in the face of “near-perfect control of reproduction” have anything to do with 32-42% of young adults who claim to be avoiding pregnancy reporting that they’d be pleased about an unexpected pregnancy? http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2010/03/09/young-adults-attitudes-about-pregnancy/

By: cb

cb — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 20:05:29 +0000

I have a number of college-educated, high-income friends who got pregnant before they were planning to. I blame some of it on the scare tactics used when people talk about infertility. A 25-year-old is getting married, figures it will be hard to get pregnant (because we all read about how you shouldn’t put it off) so she goes off her pill early and is already pregnant on her wedding day! Happened to two friends of mine. They were planning on kids, obviously, but I think they might mark “just happened” on a survey like this, at least regarding the timing.

By: Bagelsan

Bagelsan — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 19:40:20 +0000

Cosign about the wording. I could imagine “just happened” as ranging anywhere from a 30-year-old with a college degree who had an easy time getting pregnant once she stopped using birth control, to a 13-year-old kid who doesn’t know a thing about birth control and is honestly not sure how a pregnancy happened.

By: Eve

Eve — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 19:31:18 +0000

This wording makes me uncomfortable. Do they define what “just happened” means? Some people, within the context of seeing others have trouble conceiving, might think that “just happened” means that they intended to have the child, but they didn’t have to put effort into the pregnancy. Considering that people with higher education also have children later, their ability to have a baby “just happen” might be reduced.

By: J-dV.

J-dV. — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 17:08:18 +0000

But wait, teenagers universally have lower education and income. So that data doesn’t tell us if it’s age or income/education that is responsible for the unplanned child rate. We need the cross tables to isolate each variable.

By: Heather Leila

Heather Leila — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 16:59:23 +0000

Yes, 50% of all pregnancies are unplanned. I think that figure includes even those pregnancies that end in abortion or stillbirths, so it still may be true that 1/3 of children born arrived by accident. Another % of those pregnancies didn’t result in live births.

This is the statistic that preconception programs are based on. Clearly, not everyone is planning their pregnancies. Lack of access to birth control is one reason, but there are social reasons why some women get pregnant, even when they didn’t plan it. The point of preconception health is to raise awareness of this statistic, get people to think about planning their pregnancies and also to get women healthy before they ever become pregnant. The same communities with the most teen births and the most unplanned births are also the communities with the highest rates of infant mortality.

Preconception health programs are often criticized for just assuming that all women are in a preconception phase because most women could be potentially pregnant. The criticism has valid points, many women clearly do not want to be mothers and are offended by contrary assumptions. But, at the same time, if women are getting pregnant anyway, even when they don’t plan it, it’s better to teach them now about how to avoid infant mortality.

http://heatherleila3.blogspot.com/2009/11/preconception-counseling-where-feminism.html

By: Grizzly

Grizzly — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 16:33:10 +0000

A child that “just happened” isn’t necessarily synonymous with a child that happened “by accident.” Many parents I know made a conscious effort to have their first child, buying ovulation kits, checking in with their doctor, stepping up sexual activity, etc. However, with the second or third child they were much more passive, not taking any steps to have the child beyond not using protection. They adopted a “we’ll see what happens” approach. If asked if they had a child that “just happened” they answer ‘yes’ even though the child was not necessarily unexpected.