I realize this is not the point of the post, but what the machine is supposed to do is crazy! It's not an exercise bike. It's powered so you're not actually expending any effort (getting any exercise):

"Exercycle is the only fully automatic motor-driven exercising instrument that can give you a complete physiological from head to foot while you just sit and relax."

So old women are supposed want to be young, young women want to be slender, young men want to be strong, and old men want to be active.

...And everyone wants to be white.

/sarcasm

"So old women are supposed want to be young, young women want to be slender, young men want to be strong, and old men want to be active."

Wouldn't that be better phrased as:
"So they think old women want to be young, young women want to be slender, young men want to be strong, and old men want to be active."
?

Or even:
"Most old women want to be young, most young women want to be slender, most young men want to be strong, and most old men want to be active."
?

I think it's worth noticing that in the text it says 'terrific for heavyweights!' with a picture of an overweight man. So the ad does acknowledge that both genders might want to exercise to lose weight.

My grandparents had this.

You turn it on and it does all of the work... including crushing my little foot with its crazy automatic steel bone smashing moves! YIKES!!

Ok, my bones weren't smashed, but my 5 year old foot did balloon up and turn completely purple all over.