Wait, scanning this I assumed that comic was subversive-- that was the joke, that people use rape without thinking about it, because it is something that they don't think really happens. Anyhow, yeah, the flagrant use of the word makes me grit my teeth.

It's worth pointing out that in movies and television, violence against men (specifically this kind of violence, getting hit in the groin) is always portrayed as humorous and, often, "he deserved it." At the same time, any violence against a woman is completely taboo ESPECIALLY for humor.

There used to be a commercial for a David Spade sitcom back in the 90s, "Just Shoot Me" in which a man asks a woman what time it is. She slaps him, and he asks why she did that, rubbing his cheek in confusion. Her response: "You know I don't wear a watch!" Cue laugh track.

Would the same thing be permitted for a man to jokingly slap a woman? Absolutely not.

Also, I should mention that the use of rape really irritates me when gamers use it. It is pretty common parlance in online gaming for people to say they got "raped" (along with "pwned" or other slang). I usually take a moment to ask the person not to use it, and people are often open to the idea that it shouldn't be tossed around like that, so there's some hope there.

"Would the same thing be permitted for a man to jokingly slap a woman? Absolutely not."

yeah, KK, it's totally inappropriate that hitting a woman isn't seen as a joke. it doesn't matter that abusive relationships overwhelmingly leave women (not men) with black eyes, scars, or dead. oh, teh poor menz!

Maybe that's because violence between the sexes is primarily man > woman, KK Slider. It's not as funny to joke about something when it's a terribly reality in many women's lives.
It's a serious epidemic all around the world, and in some places domestic violence isn't even a crime. Murder by an intimate partner is among the 10 leading causes of death for women in the US.

I agree tat metaphors can be very inappropriate and hurtful in some contexts, but I am very curious as to why?

Do they make a false analogy (because their experience is unique), is their experience categorically worse (so any analogy reduces it to a petty violation), or is their experience so horrifying that it ought never to be represented or attempted to be contained (the whole 'poetry is dead after Auschwitz' thing)?

I know Carol Adams (1990) has called such uses of 'rape,' nazis,' and 'meat,' as the "absent referent" since they all refer to another oppression (i.e. the rape of the earth, being treated like meat, etc.). Does it trivialize "the Holocaust" to name the mass genocide of Amerindians and Africans the "American holocaust" and "African holocaust?" What about saying a person is 'treated like an animal/meat' or that 'children in the Congo are being slaughtered' disrespectful to nonhuman animals? Does it trivialize their suffering, exploitation and oppression?

Is it any worse to compare human suffering to animal suffering than animal suffering to human suffering (as PETA repeatedly does insensitively)? Perhaps it has to do with determining whether one group is oppressed or not (i.e. test takers are not oppressed so one cannot be 'raped by a test', animals are not oppressed so their is no 'holocaust on your plate' etc.). OR do these Others not qualify because their plight is *always already* trivial (i.e. animals have been killed by humans for millenia, its natural), and thus any attempt to draw an analogy is inherently trivializing?

I'm asking because maybe this objection/advocacy of metaphor use is a response to who and who doesn't qualify for analogous treatment. Some people don't think the Holocaust was unique to Europe and argue that saying it was unique is an act of forgetting the holocaust of other people of color, white supremacy. Similarly, some people think that not recognizing the holocaust-like process of factory farming is a result of human supremacy.

Wait... so violence is funny as long as the person being hit is stronger than the person doing the hitting?

I acknowledge that male abuse against women is much more prevalent, and harmful, around the world than abuse from women toward men. I was trying to say that slap-stick comedy is highly unbalanced in that there are far more instances of men being seriously injured for humor ("America's Funniest Home Videos" or Budweiser's awful 2004 superbowl ads being great examples).

In an ideal world neither men's nor women's injuries would be seen as funny, or trivialized.

AL, if you read every observation on cultural inconsistency as a condemnation of such, you're going to have an awfully hard time with this blog.

Maybe I'm being insensitive, but I just think everybody is better off not making a big deal out of using these words casually.

Fernando - It is very easy to say victims of traumatic experiences should just deal with it and move on. But I doubt it is easy for them when they are faced with such triggering language in everyday usage. Saying that people should be less sensitive about it is merely a cop-out to allow insensitive people to keep saying hurtful things.

Why is that, Fernando? What makes me "better off" about not recognizing - and being offended by - language that trivializes rape?
Adam, you are comparing apples and oranges. Referring to the mass slaughter of human beings as a "holocaust" makes some sense. Referring to a tough test as a "rape" does not. It's nothing like a rape. And the use of the word "rape" to describe a difficult exam or challenging level in a video game is seriously offensive and dismissive of rape victims' experiences.

I got dragged into a discussion like this on my blog because I used to word rape to describe something my boyfriend and I had done in the bedroom. It was an apt description as we were playing rough but someone took me to task for using the word. My defense was that as someone who has been raped, has worked with many rape victims, I don't find this insulting. Of course, I also didn't realize idiots were going around using the word this way. I think it definitely trivializes what rape victims go through but I don't find it offensive. Just really stupid.

Something I wrote a *long* time ago... I am being lazy so I just cut and paste:

Ok. So I'm not a huge fan of trash-talking. I don't really engage in it myself unless I know the other people and we all know it's in good fun. However, I don't know most people I play with on Halo 2. And most people don't know me. In fact, I'm one of those annoying people without a mic because I prefer that people don't know that I'm a woman. It erases the possibility of me being treated differently (both being negatively discriminated against and being favored).

One thing that bothers me in particular is when people "rape" each other. (For those of you that are not familiar with this: I have found that people are increasingly using the term "rape" to not only mean that they have just out-skilled another player in the game, but they also perform the motions of "raping" the dead body of the defeated player. I've also noticed this language in online forums and even in conversation.) Yeah yeah, I don't tell anyone I'm a woman, so how can I complain? Well, if people "raped" me, knowing that I'm a woman, I'm find that even more violating and disturbing, knowing that these people have such little respect and empathy about a subject that is always terrible and painful for those who have been victims of sexual assault. I wonder why it's so fun or funny to "rape" fellow players and when the word "rape" became something that connotes a positive and laudable act. I'm pretty sure that most guys who uses that language won't actually engage in assaulting a woman physically, but what kinds of attitudes does the language imply? Of course, we can argue about the complexity of meanings and the ability of people to hold different meanings in different contexts, but is that really the case here? The term is being embraced and still being used as a device to assert masculine dominance over others.

Not only that, but many of the guys that do "rape" other players are quite homophobic and then they engage in "raping" other people who they assume to be male. So then, here's the question: why are these guys so enthusiastic to engage in virtual homo-erotic activities? I'm not implying that all of these guys are gay in any way. The more we try to solidify the line between straight and gay, the more these labels will narrow the expectations of normative behavior for both straight and gay people, and that's not what I'm going for.

What I am suggesting is that while attempting to display of dominance and superiority over other players through "masculine" sexual means and while trying to assert their masculinity, many male players end up straying into a realm that they themselves deem as unmanly, or gay. So is their behavior hyper-masculine or homo-erotic? Well, in some historic societies, homosexual relationships between men were not only uncategorized and labeled in the way we do now, but were also considered most true to masculine form. I find that quite intriguing. And having said that ... maybe their behavior is both hyper-masculine and homo-erotic, since neither are necessarily exclusive of each other.

I am female and I was raped as a child for years. Trust me, I do with out seeing it everywhere.

I meant to say I could do with out seeing everywhere. Alas I do see it everywhere.

And yes, I know, I shouldn't read this site if I don't want to see it but at least I know what I'm in for when I read here.

"At the same time, any violence against a woman is completely taboo ESPECIALLY for humor."

Is this a serious comment? Many, many, many contemporary comedians joke about raping, abusing, and killing women. Here's are some posts on the subject with lots of examples: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2007/10/dont-be-this-guy.html
http://shakesville.wordpress.com/2007/05/11/rape-is-hilarious/
http://viv.id.au/blog/?p=1094

As to the whole question of humor-- it was asked if violence is only funny when the person being hit is stronger than the person doing the hitting.

Well... it's kind of true. It's a person of high status being (temporarily) brought down to lower status-- which is far more likely to be seen as funny than someone of high status kicking down someone already of low status.

People like seeing someone who's high up get brought down. Kicking someone who's already down is generally thought to be just plain disgusting behavior. Is it funny to see a wimpy 7-year-old punch out a 10-year-old bully? Usually, yes! Is it funny to see that same 10 year old wail on a crying 7-year-old? No, that's seen as sick and terrifying.

Which is not to say, of course, that women are weak and the equivalent of 7-year-olds. But they are, and this is a *fact* that simply cannot be discarded, far, far more likely to be seriously physically abused.

Which is why it's not funny for a man to hit a woman. That is not being sexist towards men, and to frame it as such shows an insanely narrow worldview.

I agree that seeing violence toward men (and women) as a norm or as socially appropriate is unacceptable.

However, some humor involves unusual juxtaposition of events or qualities, and in many cases the idea of a man being physically oppressed by a woman is unrealistic in our minds due to our social expectations of both genders. This is often the case with the jokes we see of men being "abused" or "oppressed" by a woman.

At other times humor celebrates a stratification that is viewed as "the way things should be" and often just an exaggeration of "the way things are."

Jonah, if you're going to completely ignore social context, YOU'RE going to have a hard time with this blog.

Kit, thanks for saying that. The same dynamic is at work when it comes to satire: the disempowered mocking the powerful. It's just not as funny when the powerful kick the marginalized/oppressed while they're down.

I think plenty of men would find the response of the stick figure dude quite funny. See, for example:

http://www.channel101.com/shows/view.php?media_id=130

KK Slider, I don't think your assertion that "...that slap-stick comedy is highly unbalanced in that there are far more instances of men being seriously injured for humor..." is accurate at all. I see and hear rape jokes, and domestic abuse jokes on tv, from comedians, and and in advertising every day.

To see reactions to real domestic violence, read the comments on any news article about Chris Brown's arrest for assault, or any other news story on rape or violence against women. They are usually full of comments wondering what the women did to provoke them, why they didn't leave, or blaming them for the fight.

I'll stay away from the "rape" issue for fear of being scolded, and just talk about "nazis" - hey, I'm a Jew, many of my grandparents' siblings were murdered by the Germans, so I'm allowed to talk about THAT.

So, no, using "nazi" in a joking manner doesn't bother me one bit. "Soup nazi" is funny, as you said, exactly because it is obviously an exaggeration. When does it get annoying? When people are serious. That's why the PETA thing was annoying, because they thought they were making a valid analogy. When people seriously say that "this or that is EXACTLY LIKE WHAT THE NAZIS DID" (surprising how often you hear that in Israel), it's infuriating, because, well, no, it's nothing like what the nazis did. But when they term "nazi" or "holocaust" is used for humour, in an intentional exaggeration, I have no problem with it. Though, it should be noted, the humour in such cases is usually at the speaker (either as self-humour, or, if the speaker is a character being portrayed as overly-dramatic, then at that character (e.g. "soup nazi")). I can't really see how this can be done well with the word "rape".

Words have many meanings rape is interesting because it means things not related. Some people call cigarettes fags, it's the way of the world.

rape
1   /reɪp/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [reyp] Show IPA Pronunciation
noun, verb, raped, rap⋅ing.
–noun
1. the unlawful compelling of a woman through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
3. statutory rape.
4. an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.
5. Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.
–verb (used with object)
6. to force to have sexual intercourse.
7. to plunder (a place); despoil.
8. to seize, take, or carry off by force.
–verb (used without object)
9. to commit rape.
Origin:
1250–1300; (v.) ME rapen < AF raper < L rapere to seize, carry off by force, plunder; (n.) ME < AF ra(a)p(e), deriv. of raper

rape2
–noun
a plant, Brassica napus, of the mustard family, whose leaves are used for food for hogs, sheep, etc., and whose seeds yield rape oil.

rape3 
–noun
the residue of grapes, after the juice has been extracted, used as a filter in making vinegar.

"Do other societies use words like rape and murder metaphorically?" Definitely not in Greece.

...by way of anecdote...

When I was 19 I was pulled over and harassed by a cop in southern California. He used his authority to intimidate and humiliate me and finally let me go as if it were all a fun game. I proudly wrote a little short story about it, comparing the whole incident to a rape. (hey, don't judge I was 19 and thought everything I did was clever). Anyway I spent that summer in Greece and translated this story for some friends who were also creative types. Needless to say, they didn't find the metaphor appropriate and really were confused about the whole thing. I remember the night well--trying to explain that no I was not actually raped by the cop but symbolically raped, that it was a metaphor, etc. to no avail. Now I, for sure, don't think that Greeks are more compassionate toward rape victims than Americans. It's just the way they use language. In the same sense I don't think using "rape" to describe something that is not forced sex means that we have no concern for people who are raped. Just like anything, it always depends on how it is used and who is using it.

“Do other societies use words like rape and murder metaphorically?”

Yes, I live in Chile and here a lot of people say things like those on the comic, mostly young people. Nobody feels that it is disgusting or bad, though.

Chinese culture doesn't really use rape as a metaphor. Murder, yeah. Rape is still extremely taboo in China, even in Hong Kong. Talking about made you look really dirty, whether or not you were involved as the rapist, victim or not at all. It made you look cheap.

Pride is a really big issue. It also explains why almost every single politician in China must have a mistress, and everyone knows, but they still get elected because it means you have charisma and attractiveness. You would be proud to have some woman falling for you despite the circumstances of never getting inheritance (though they'd get it in the end anyway).