(As a side note, I am being heavily sarcastic.)

I have to say I don’t really know what was meant by a “masculine” romance. Candles are only considered feminine because they’re soft and gentle, and because men aren’t “supposed” to be these things they’re not “supposed” to appreciate these things either.

Traditionally in cultures across the world (including our own) roses and chocolate were actually considered masculine because they were sophisticated and if you could acquire them it showed you had wealth, money and therefore power. Roses and chocolate were also associated with sexuality and were therefore also considered masculine to the point where in some countries women were forbidden or discouraged from consuming chocolate.

I wonder if similar things might be true of some of the other things that are associated with love.

this is just crazy and i at first didnt want to believe it (my boyfriend doesnt even bother with getting me something for my birthday, much less so on valentines day. but nor do i, and the love is visible to us still.), but it really seems to be the way it works for some people.

as for this cutting both ways – certainly. this woman took to absolute domination. he was really trying to make up for it afterwards but then luckily could only bend so far and the thing broke off.
seems to me love is not about this kind of thing.

The problem with the above scenario is that (unless it matches up with some or all of the norms of Valentine’s Day), there will likely be tension. Tension because it is a nonstandard thing to do – and the expectation of the standard is likely there (this is the tricky thing about surprise parties and the like). Tension, too, because the recipient may well feel like there is an expectation for reciprocation.

Maybe I’m thinking too much into it, but sometimes it is easiest to just go with the flow of expected norms, otherwise you risk disappointment, unexpected senses of reciprocation, or something similarly awkward. Of course, one could plan what will happen well in advance, either by discussing how “this year let’s do something different” or providing a oh-so-unromantic schedule of events.

I have long held the belief that Valentine’s Day is a dangerous day, since it plays with the fundamental feelings of love, need, and acceptance. Knowing how one is accepted and loved is easier to do in a well-defined ritual set up by sometimes-annoying cultural norms.