Comments on: Porn for New Moms: Cultural Ideas About What Dad’s Don’t Do

By: Alex

Alex — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:23:18 +0000

I’m really intrigued by the usage of the word ‘porn’.

This seems to be a bit of a trend (c.f. Marks and Spencers’ “food porn” adverts here in Britain), where porn doesn’t so much mean “erotic visual stimulus to help you rub your own genitals” but “aesthetically pleasing, but massively implausible fantasy”. I think that’s what the title’s getting at, and it seems a sign of something quite heartening about human intelligence.

By: J

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:00:00 +0000

With steak? A harem of naked sexy men with steak? Is there steak…?

By: holystrawberry@gmail.com

holystrawberry@gmail.com — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 14:28:23 +0000

love it, funny..period. i can go deep on this, but the first time i got to see the book was just funny and made me laugh and that is what counts.. for me as a young mother…thanks.

By: A Continuation into the next School Year… | Gender and Technology Spring 2009

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 03:34:59 +0000

[...] then on another note the link to Porn for New Moms. Wow. I mean, okay, anonymity on the internet allows for me to say crazy things, but the idea that [...]

By: Sociological Images » Masculinizing Housework: “The Househusbands of Hollywood”

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 18:04:16 +0000

[...] check out our posts on “porn” for new moms (there’s another version here), shared parenting as class privilege, calendar with images [...]

By: Links « Stuff

Links « Stuff — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 09:56:17 +0000

[...] This makes me very, very angry. [...]

By: Dubi

Dubi — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 03:20:32 +0000

Will (and some others): it’s Porn for *NEW* Moms. While the pictures are hardly age-appropriate, I assume they refer to moms still on maternity leave or some such other arrangement (hence the deal with 8 hours of sleep, an uncommon thing in, oh, the first year of a newborn’s life). Try as you might, you won’t be any good at lactating.

Now, it’s not that I think this isn’t stupid. As a father and the primary care-giver to my son since he was 9 months old up until when we got him into daycare when he was two, I think it’s kind of stupid to assert that this is a fantasy and not something women should demand (if not simply expect) from their partners, and quite frankly, I don’t understand fathers who don’t mind coming home after their children are already sleeping. But still – dudes, it’s a joke. It’s a stupid joke, but a joke nonetheless. I don’t get offended by it, nor should anyone else. At most you should roll your eyes at the sheer stupidity of people that find this amusing, and move on to something more important. Like changing my kid’s diaper.

Also – what, no comments about the unrealistic way these guys look? What, you think it doesn’t make ME feel bad about myself with my meat-ball-stained t-shirt and all, seeing all these perfect looking men having a ball with their kids in their perfect clean clothes?

By: Will

Will — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 20:57:29 +0000

“I told my boss I have to leave at 3:00 every afternoon so I can come home and give you a break.”

Because the wife doesn’t work, see? She’s a stay-at-home mom! So “every” woman’s fantasy is to stay at home, raise children, and have a man earn the keep for the family… but come home and give her breaks. Not to take a part in raising the child himself, but to do favors for mom, because it’s completely her job.

As someone who is seriously considering being a stay-at-home dad in the future, this really ticks me off!

By: Bagelsan

Bagelsan — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 15:34:29 +0000

Maybe they should write a book where I come home from accepting a Nobel Prize for biochemistry, and am greeted at the door by my harem of completely naked sexy men. I think that sounds about right. :D Bowchicka bow bow.

By: Bagelsan

Bagelsan — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 01:42:46 +0000

Re Ryan: I think the man pictured is the one talking, not the one being considered for babysitting. “Coed” is used to refer to female college students, playing off that stereotypical married-woman-fear that her husband will be attracted to younger women instead of her.

So, still expects women to do all the work. Fail.

By: Ryan

Ryan — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 00:54:16 +0000

Hey, at least they are showing a man in the role of a potential babysitter. It’s not often that you see a man potrayed in what is normally a female-dominated profession of child care professional.

By: SarahMC

SarahMC — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 00:35:00 +0000

Women are still characterized as the primary care-givers for the child, though.

Fantasy FAIL.

By: Bagelsan

Bagelsan — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:45:00 +0000

“Coed” is one of the many words I have only ever used ironically, with much eye-rolling and syllable-mangling and maybe a bit of hand-gesturing.

That book is ridiculous. Especially when you look at (man?)-porn and see what all men apparently fantasize about… 9.9 Women want a nap while men want to rape a room full of 18-year-old virgins with their giant tentacle-cocks or something… I dunno. :p

By: drewconfused

drewconfused — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 17:44:25 +0000

Is there someone who can explain the choice to *use* the word “coed” here? Is there some demographic among which this word is commonly used?

I understand the origins of the term, I don’t need that explained, but I have never in my life ever heard anyone use the word “coed” in conversation. It strikes me as an odd, even archaic word choice.

By: Sara

Sara — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 15:23:17 +0000

I agree with both you and commenter mordicai – these books manage to reinforce negative stereotypes about men and women. Namely, men are completely unreliable as husbands/partners/fathers, which is why these books are ‘fantasy,’ and women aren’t sexual beings who would appreciate REAL porn. Both feed into this ridiculous social narrative of women and men as two completely opposite beings – men are sexual and inconsiderate, women are emotionally needy.