Michelle, I can agree with you that the message about dads in prison not being bad, but simply being humans who made a mistake - like we all do - could’ve been clearer. I realize you were questioning the video’s effectiveness.

My hypothesis about why this video might be effective is multi-faceted. Society’s view on criminals is pretty negative. The social “norm” is to think of someone who commits a crime as an outcast, an aberration, not normal. Their response then is to think that criminals are a lesser, lower class of people, “beneath them” if you will. This is a pretty consistent response. Until someone you know and care about is the one going to jail. Then you see them more like what the professor was trying to say. That they’re not “bad” or lesser of a person, but that they just made a mistake, and at the heart they’re good people. We even think the same about ourselves when we screw up (typically). So, taking these two opposing viewpoints, there could be some amount of confusion among spouses and children who are left behind when their partner/parent goes to prison. On the one hand, society is saying that they are a bad person, beneath us, but on the other hand, we don’t see them in that way, we knew them as good people, people of value and worth. So, there’s a conflict going on internally. Which is true? Who is right? Parents who are left behind may be at a loss for words to explain or answer some of the hard questions that kids always have. This video provides an easy way for these parents to answer their own questions and the kids’ at the same time. It takes some of the pressure off to have the right answer and to explain it clearly. Kids may also trust or believe a video about hard questions like this rather than their parents. There could be many reasons for this.

My perspective is a little different because I’ve actually been in prison and met a lot of dads who had done some pretty horrendous stuff, from murder to child abuse. In prison, as in society, there’s a large group of people who only see the people as their crimes, as if what they did represented the entirety of who they are (article about perspectives). I never took that view, since I couldn’t as a paralegal. I had to help these people fight their cases in appeal, not judge them based on their past mistakes. I strove to look past the crimes these men committed to see the person behind them. From this perspective, I can say that I met a lot of really good people in prison. Some of the most generous, compassionate people I’ve met were in prison. My very best friendships originated with these people in prison. It’s true that for most people in prison, what they did is not who they are. They simply made some huge mistakes and had some serious lapses in judgment. But that isn’t their identity.

I think the video is trying to convey this, but in a way that a kid could understand. The video does use examples from kids’ lives like being disciplined for breaking the rules, then asks whether they are “bad.” Obviously kids will say no, they are not bad even though they broke the rules and suffered consequences for those choices.

In psychology, this is called a perceptual defense, which is the tendency for people to protect themselves against ideas, objects or situations that are threatening. In other words, you tend to see yourself in the best light possible, despite any evidence against it. This is part of maintaining our sense of self, or self-identity. Without this defense, we would fall apart as people really.

Kids do this for themselves, and are able to apply that rationale towards their dads, who they also want to see as good people. Kids otherwise begin to wonder if their dads are “bad”, then are they bad? Their self-identity takes a hit.

So, I think that in the end, though I would put it a bit differently, that this video would be effective with kids of incarcerated parents. Sometimes parents just don’t have the words to say and it’s easier for a video to say it then them. Kids also tend to give more credibility to a video against social pressure to see their dads as bad than against their parents words.

Thanks, Gabe, for this really thoughtful comment and analysis. I appreciate your points and do tend to agree with you. In watching it, I felt like the video could have been a bit more focused on the message, but then I don't have kids, so I'm truly not sure what might be useful, interesting, and effective in helping them understand such complex issues.

I spend a lot of my time in the Oregon State Penitentiary, and I agree that many of the men I have met in prison have become great fathers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers, and men, in general, as they have grown and matured. I think the video is best viewed as another tool for them to use in communicating with the children in their lives.

I know Bobby Beausoleil, who created the video; he told me recently that he is currently working on a second video with a little red-haired girl as the main character. He is hoping a female lead will bring out different issues and conversations.

Thanks again for the feedback and thoughtful comments.

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